Mistrust Read Online Free Page A

it down to me being exhausted.
    I don’t have the courage or the heart to look at my phone to see who has messaged or called me. I don’t want to lie to anyone, so I simply won’t look. Instead, I’ve been in bed all morning with the blankets pulled over my head, trying to forget. But trying to forget isn’t easy, especially considering I know what happened, even though I wasn’t conscious for it. I keep replaying the evening in my head, looking for any clues that could lead me to the truth. They say knowledge is power, but as I lay in bed, I keep fighting with myself. Do I really want to know, or should I forget about it all and move on with my life?
    I’m stuck. My heart is telling me to forget about it, but my head is telling me to try and find the answers. But then, if I do find out what happened, what do I do with the information? Do I go to the authorities? Or do I keep my mouth shut? If I tell the police, will they believe me? What happens if my friends find out? Or worse still, what happens if my parents find out, or even Sam. My God, Sam. I would hate to see the disappointment in her eyes if she ever found out. I’m sure Sam would still accept and love me, but what if she didn’t? I don’t think I could live with myself if I saw anything in her eyes other than the worship she shows me now.
    Knock.
    Knock.
    I don’t want anyone coming in, but I know regardless of who is on the other side of the door, they’ll start questioning me and will want to know why I’m so withdrawn. “Come in,” I call with as much enthusiasm as I can muster. My voice sounds strained and cautious, even to me. Sitting up in bed, I fix my hair, pretending everything is fine while I wait to see who’s coming in.
    “Hey.” Sam excitedly bounces into my room. “How was the prom?” She sits on the end of my bed, and eagerly waits for my answer.
    “It was good,” I answer, but avoid her eyes.
    “Did you and Levi . . . ?” I shake my head, and pick a spot on the blanket to look at. “Phew. I was scared he’d try to pressure you into it.”
    A soft smile plays at my lips, although I’m only smiling to hide the real feeling of shame. I start picking at a loose thread on the white cotton blanket on my bed. “There was no pressure. He was really good about it.”
    “I heard Mom and Dad saying you got in late. Tell me all about it. What happened? What were Lindsey, Mariah, and Jordan wearing? Did you look the prettiest? I bet you did. Oh my God, was Reece there? He’s sooooo cute.” Sam’s talking so fast and enthusiastically all her sentences are blending into each other.
    “Sam,” I say, finally working up the courage to look her in the eyes for the first time since she came in here. “Everyone looked great.” Although I try to feign enthusiasm, my tone is flat and dry and Sam immediately picks up on it.
    Her shoulders drop and her eyebrows knit together in question. “Did something happen, Dakota?”
    Every single hair stands on end and my entire body shivers as a cool breeze touches my exposed skin. “No, why?” I automatically respond, defensive. I close my eyes for a second and regroup. “I mean, no, nothing happened. I just . . .” Crap, what do I say? “I’m really tired. You know dancing and things like that.”
    “Levi called earlier looking for you, and I told him you were still asleep. He sounded funny, too.”
    “What do you mean?” I sit up further in bed and painfully cross my legs. I’m so sensitive.
    “He sounded like he was worried about you. What happened last night? You’re acting all weird and he sounded strange. Did you two have a fight or something? Is it because you told him you weren’t ready to have sex? You know, you can tell me anything; I promise not to tell Mom and Dad.” She reaches out and rubs her hand on my leg. The moment she touches me I flinch, moving my leg away from her hand reflexively. Sam notices and pulls her hand straight back.
    My bedroom fills with awkward