Miss Impractical Pants Read Online Free Page B

hissed, “Nothing—he just isn’t, okay?”
    “Maybe she’s worried he’ll be a Mr. Cheapskate,” Rob scoffed.
    For the benefit of those who weren’t laughing, Anna explained the inside joke. “Katie made the unfortunate mistake of accepting a date with the ultimate cheapskate.”
    “I’m pretty sure Rob’s mother guilted me into going on a blind date with him,” Katie corrected.
    “Anyway, he insisted they go to a country-themed restaurant—the kind frequented by senior citizens.” Having laughed over it a million times, Anna knew this story as if it were her own. “He announced—not just to Katie, but the entire restaurant—that he didn’t have much money, so they would have to share a platter of nachos. So Katie offers to pay, right? And Mr. Cheapskate gets super pissed and reminds her that he’s a ‘gentleman.’”
    “Anna, nobody wants to hear this story,” Katie interrupted, trying to head off another game inspired by her dating disasters.
    Encouraged by everyone else’s goading, Anna charged on. “I don’t think he’d ever read any sort of manual on gentlemanliness, because when the nachos came, he just dug right in without even offering her any. Every time he took a chip, he held it up high, hunched down, and chased the tail of cheese with his mouth, letting his tongue wag in the air until the food made contact.” She made a demonstration of the movements. “Then, he’d wrestle the nacho into his mouth with his tongue, chew twice, and swallow.”
    Katie pictured the scene as if she were again reliving the moment and shuddered.
    “The most disgusting part,” Anna howled, “is that he cleaned his fingers by poking each one into his mouth.”
    Katie could feel the pressure of at least ten different pairs of eyes studying her. She forced a lighthearted laugh. “Okay, enough.”
    “I’m not done!”
    “Did you guys ever hear about Mr. Sweatpants?” Rob asked, eager to keep the table laughter going.
    “He was a nice guy,” Anna said. “You should have given him a chance.”
    “He shouldn’t have worn sweatpants on a first date,” Katie said.
    “Tell the one about the Bounty Hunter,” Dylan hooted.
    “My favorite is the Sex-Crazed Security Guard,” Rob howled.
    “That is still the most disturbing blind-date memory I have.” Katie shuddered. “And we’re not sharing it.”
    “Oh, come on, Katie,” Dylan pleaded. “It’s hilarious.”
    “No.”
    Though her friends respected her wishes on that story, they had no regard for the ones about the Mullet Man, the Stalking Stock Broker, or the ever-popular Gangsta Julian.
    When the lights finally flicked back on after the slideshow, lolling heads around the room bolted upright as if they’d been wide awake and one hundred percent captivated. There was a collective sigh of gratitude, but no one felt the relief more than Katie. The others may have been enjoying a good laugh at her expense, but all she saw were flashbacks of a decade of failed relationships.
    “Hallelujah!” Anna rejoiced. “Just in case this is only an intermission, Rob and I are making a run for it.” She shot up, tugging at Rob’s arm. “Bye everyone. Sorry, Dyls, we didn’t get to chat more, but I’d rather eat this baby’s placenta then sit another minute. Talk to you tomorrow, Katie.”              
    Though it wasn’t just an intermission, the rest of the group followed Anna’s example and peeled away from the table couple by couple, leaving just Katie and Dylan. She scooted over a couple of seats and edged up to him, grateful to have a one-on-one, as opposed to a dozen-against-one, conversation.
    “Finally, I have you all to myself,” Katie said. “We need to do some serious catching up.”
    His face contorted into a guilty frown. “I don’t have that long. I’ve got to get a taxi to the airport. I’m taking the redeye back to D.C. tonight.”
    Her eyebrows sprung up in mock admiration. “My, when did you get to be so