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as he yanked off the condom and
tucked himself back in. We both flopped back against the seat, not touching.
Silent. Oh, my god, what had I done? I couldn’t be trusted to be alone
with Robbie for two minutes. Two minutes was all it had taken and I was
shucking out of my clothes and welcoming him inside me. A wave of shame tickled
my scalp and traveled down my neck, but it couldn’t dampen the pulsating
satisfaction that had settled blissfully between my legs. What I had done might
have been wrong, reckless, against every sensible rule I’d ever set myself—but
it damn well felt so off-the-scale good that there was no way I would ever
regret it.
    The car slowed and rolled to a stop. The driver opened my
door and I scooted out, straightening my clothes and dragging in a lungful of
cool night air, hoping it might help my lost sanity and nonexistent
self-control. I looked up at the glass and steel building set amongst the
Georgian town houses. “Nice pad,” I said with an approving nod, trying to
behave as if I hadn’t just had a swift but mind-blowing orgasm.
    “Thanks.” Robbie stood next to me and looked up into the
damp night sky. I was aware of his body heat radiating on to my cheek as he
leaned in to murmur, “But technically it’s Ian’s. He moved to the country with
Nina and the little one a while back. He’s supposed to be putting it on the
market but I got hold of the key. I kinda like it and I’m thinking about buying
it.” He curled his arm around my waist and pulled me until my hip rested on the
hard outer edge of his thigh. “Perhaps you could let me know what you think.”
    I looked up at him but he was already urging me forward
through the mist toward the rotating brass doors.
    We rode the lift, again in silence. I watched the numbers
ping up and my heart fluttered at the memory of his words He missed me. He
couldn’t go on living without finding out if I missed him too.
    I missed him like I would miss all four limbs and we were
clearly still good together, like really good together. But could I be
so masochistic as to let Robbie in again? Really? Could I? He
would break me, take out my soul and spin it around until I didn’t know which
way was up and which way was down. It had taken me six months to stop crying at
the mere mention of his name last time. I couldn’t go through it again. I
should never have let it go this far. I should have put those damn tickets and
pass straight in the bin and not given them another thought.
    We stepped out of the lift. Robbie produced a key and opened
a door with a large number six hanging on the white wood. “In you go,” he said,
pushing it with the flat of his palm.
    I stepped into the dark apartment and waited as Robbie
bolted the door behind us.
    “This way,” he said, flicking on a dim light and walking
into the living room.
    My eyes widened as I looked at the London skyline twinkling
through a vast expanse of windows. The raindrops streaking down the glass
multiplied the soft orange lights like a spectacular kaleidoscope. “Wow,” I
said. “Great view.”
    “Yeah, it’s cool isn’t it?” He walked to a door and pulled
it open. “Make yourself at home, I’m gonna take a quick shower. All that
dancin’ around and that.” He flashed a cheeky grin my way.
    “Okay,” I said nonchalantly, walking past a low L-shaped
couch to the dark windows that stretched from the ceiling to the floor. I
looked down at the road below. Cars and taxis whizzed along, making the most of
the lighter traffic. I couldn’t hear them, the road noise didn’t penetrate the
glass.
    A shower clicked on and I spotted a short corridor to my
right. The wall was covered in photos and platinum discs. Stepping up, I peered
at a large glossy image of Robbie’s ecstatic face as he held up a long silver
award. His bandmates were around him, their arms thrown over one another’s
shoulders, all equally gleeful. I touched the frame, I had so many photos of him
ranging from him