Merry Christmas, Lincoln (A Take Care, Sara Christmas Novelette) Read Online Free Page B

“Maybe what I did was wrong.”
    He opened his mouth to argue the maybe of that and she quickly continued, “What I did was wrong. I know that. And I am sorry. I should have told you, right away, as soon as I knew. But…but I only did what I did because I love you, because I was worried for you, because I don’t want you to hurt when you don’t have to. I lost a baby with Cole and it tore us apart. I didn’t want the same to happen to you. I just needed time, to make sure I wasn’t going to have a miscarriage. I had every intention of telling you, as soon as I knew everything was okay.”
    “ But you never know that, Sara! Not really. There could be complications farther along, during the delivery, after the delivery, years from now. What you did was…I can’t believe you did that, I really can’t. And all these months, you’ve been scared and worried and you never told me . I’m supposed to be there for you too. I’m supposed to be able to help you. And because of your inability to let me in, I’ve lost four months of the pregnancy that are just— gone . Have you felt it kick?”
    “ What?”
    A tick began in his jaw. “Have you felt the baby kick?”
    Sara rubbed her forehead, shaking her head as her hand fell away. “No. Just…flutters and those faint.”
    “ Have you gone to the doctor yet? Are you on vitamins? Have you done any of the things you should be doing in case this baby does survive?” he demanded.
    “ I’m taking prenatal vitamins,” she said in a voice that shook, her eyes downcast.
    Something else hit him and hit him hard. “Oh, God, and we’ve been having—“ He broke off. “What if I’d unintentionally hurt the baby?”
    She laughed softly, shaking her head. “You can’t hurt the baby by having sex.”
    “ How do you know that?” he cried, feeling like he’d been a sex-crazed monster defiling an innocent. He hadn’t known, but still . He would have been gentler, more cautious. Hell, he wouldn’t have touched her. Maybe, he amended; maybe he wouldn’t have touched her.
    “ Okay, let’s compartmentalize, shall we? Baby is in the belly; anything else is me . You can be my much-attentive husband and still be a good daddy. The baby doesn’t know we’re having sex. I promise.”
    His gaze went to her midsection. The purple jacket she wore was unzipped and he slowly walked toward her, his chest tightening as he placed a hand against her firm, slightly rounded stomach. What an idiot he was for not noticing sooner. It was barely perceptible, but her abdomen was harder, more prominent than it normally was. He stood like that for an indefinite amount of time, closing his eyes as his head lowered, just letting it sink in that his baby was in Sara’s womb, growing and being.
    His baby was in there— his baby .
    “ Every life…is a blessing,” he said in a raspy voice, his throat rough from unshed tears. Lincoln raised his head, staring at his wife. “You have a little soul growing inside you, Sara. Be thankful instead of scared, be happy instead of sad. Even if this is all we get with our baby, we have to treasure it. Together . Let me be a dad to our baby.”
    “ I will,” she promised, touching his cheek. “Of course I will. I’m so sorry.” The smile that formed to her lips wobbled and he wanted to kiss the tremble from her lips. “You always bring me back, Lincoln. When I’m lost or floundering or scared, you always center me. You make me see reason when I’m blinded by emotion.” She traced a cold finger down his jawline. “How do you manage to do that?”
    “ I love you,” he said simply.
    A sob left her and Sara clutched him to her, kissing his face, his neck, and lastly his lips. “I love you too. I love you so much. So much ,” she murmured.
    When her arms went around him and held him like he was her anchor in a world of unknown waters, he let her, holding her just as tightly as she held him, and between them, their baby nestled—safe,