you believe it, and then she is out of your league. If only Mr. ÂKimbrough had been born fifteen years later, I could have taught him a thing or two.
âDid you have anything to do with that?â he asks me flat-out.
âNo. I had nothing to do with Adam Foster dating Olivia Reyes,â I lie, just as flat-out.
Mr. Kimbrough looks deflated. I actually feel bad.
âI could have sworn,â he murmurs, âthat I heard someone talking about an algorithm .â
I stop in my tracks. Mr. Kimbroughâs snooping has gone deeper than I thought. I need to try more evasive maneuvers.
âWell you are a math teacher, Mr. Kimbrough,â I offer. âIâm sure people talk about algorithms around you all the time.â
âYeah, but this was different.â
Weâve reached an uncomfortable impasse in the conversation. Weâve also reached the stairs that lead from the courtyard to the parking lot. From here you can see the entire front of the schoolâall white walls with Spanish-style red clay shingles on the roof. I glance at Mr. Kimbrough. I can sense the wheels turning in his head. Itâs apparent that heâs not gonna let this go easily. I can continue to feign ignorance and hope he doesnât ask more questions, or I can take control of the situation by trying one more thing: indulging him.
âMr. Kimbrough, Iâm no expert. And I donât know what algorithm youâre talking about. But . . . maybe I can try to help anyway?â
He considers this. âI appreciate it, Shane, but this is inappropriate. I shouldnât have wasted your time.â
âItâs not inappropriate. Weâre just two guys chatting. Itâs okay.â That said, we both look around to make sure no one is staring at us. Next periodâs bell has already rung and everyone is scrambling inside. Iâm gonna be late. Whatever. Mr. Kimbrough has gotten my attention.
He leans in once more and speaks softy: âDo you know Ms. Solomon?â
âSure,â I say. âShe teaches history.â Iâve never been in her class, but Iâve seen Ms. Solomon around the halls. Sheâs younger than Mr. Kimbrough, maybe late twenties, and kind of a fox. If she is what this is all about, then I have newfound respect for the man.
âWell . . . the thing is . . . ,â he stammers.
âYouâre crushing on her,â I say.
Mr. Kimbrough nods his head as if heâs admitting this to himself for the first time. âI guess you could say that.â
âHave you asked her out?â I say.
âOh God, no!â
âWhy not?â
âSheâs the most beautiful woman in the world,â he says. âMy love for her is . . . divided by zero.â
âDivided by zero?â
âUndefined, Shane. Have you forgotten your algebra?â
Ah, math joke. Mr. Kimbrough, youâre killing me.
âShane, the thing is . . . Debâer, Ms. Solomonâis such an incredible person. I wouldnât want to sully that by asking her out, like a peasant. And, oh man, what if she turned me down? Iâd have to get a new job. Refinance my mortgage . . .â
âMr. Kimbrough, slow your roll. Relax.â
A classic pitfall of nerds of all ages: talking yourself into rejection before youâve even done anything. I call it pre-Ârejection. Or just prejection . But at least Mr. Kimbrough has passion. I can work with passion.
âDo you know what Ms. Solomon likes?â I ask.
âLikes? Hmmm. Well, sheâs mentioned she enjoys teaching about the Civil War.â Mr. Kimbrough ponders this further. âYou know what? Thereâs actually a Civil War exhibit at Memorial Museum this month.â
âPerfect.â
âI canât just ask her, though. What if she says no? I could never look her in the eye again.â
Something makes me think that Mr. Kimbrough isnât making much eye contact with her to begin