Maybe You Never Cry Again Read Online Free Page A

rabbits, and I heard them saying, “They got Beanie! They got Beanie!”
    There was an abandoned building in the next block, and they dragged me into the basement. They had a desk and everything inside, and I was thinking, What? These motherfuckers got an office?
    They did that gang thing again, with the clenched fists and the chest beating. And then the one guy asked me, “You want to be a gangster?”
    â€œNo,” I said.
    â€œWell, you gonna be,” he said.
    â€œI don’t want to be no gangster,” I said.
    â€œToo bad, motherfucker.”
    He turned and looked at the guys behind me, and they came at me, four of them. And I saw how one of them was this kid from school, Edward. He was looking at me like he felt bad, but the others were already drilling me. Fists coming at me hard. And Edward’s saying, “Don’t hit him in the face!”
    But it was too late. They’d hit me in the face a half-dozen times already, and everywhere else for good measure. And I’m falling and getting up and getting hit again, so dizzy and disoriented I couldn’t see to run.
    Then the lead guy told them to stop, and I got back to my feet and tried to get my bearings. I didn’t feel any pain, but I was furious. I was hot all over. Hot on my face, too. A fire in my chest like a storm was comin’.
    â€œYou wanna join now, nigger?”
    I turned to look at him. It was the lead guy again, at the desk. “No,” I said.
    BANG! One of them sumbitches hit me in the back with a two-by-four. I fell to my knees and got up quick. I was hurting now. Too many of these guys. Didn’t have a chance in hell.
    â€œRepresent, motherfucker!” the guy behind the desk said.
    And I did it. I’m ashamed to tell you, but I did it. I clenched my fists and crossed my arms at the wrists and smacked my fists against my chest.
    â€œYou in, nigger. With us all the way,” he said. And they’re grinning like I’m supposed to be celebrating or something, and I walked toward the exit and they moved aside and let me go.
    I went home. I walked through the door and I could hear my mother and grandmother in the kitchen, getting dinner ready. I didn’t go in like I usually did. Instead, I hollered hello and went to the living room and looked out the window. I could see the bangers coming down the street now, crossing into the park, where the playground was. I could see them through the trees, sitting around, horsing around, looking for trouble. I didn’t move for an hour. I just sat there and stared.
    Then my mother came into the living room, surprised to find me there. “Beanie! You finished your homework already, son?”
    I turned to look at her.
    â€œGood God, boy,” she said. “What happened to your face?”
    I didn’t say nothin’.
    â€œI’m going to ask you one more time,” she said.
    â€œI got tackled and my football helmet fell off,” I said. “Got dragged hard along the ground.”
    She knew I was lying. “Come to dinner,” she said.
    â€œI’m not hungry.”
    â€œThat’s no excuse. In this house, we eat dinner together.”
    I followed her into the kitchen, but I was still thinking about those guys. My grandmother looked at my face and jumped and went to say something, but my mother stopped her with a look. My grandfather wasn’t there; must’ve been on the late shift. I didn’t say much at dinner. They talked about regular things in their day, and about the price of groceries.
    After dinner, I went upstairs to my room and tried to do my homework. But I couldn’t think about anything except those guys. Then there was a knock at the door, and my mother came inside.
    â€œBeanie,” she said, “let me tell you something. In life, there’s always going to be trials and tribulations. And one day, one of those trials is going to represent such a challenge that you’ll