Maxwell's Return Read Online Free Page A

people off sick – summer colds, apparently – and …’
    ‘So you will be going in on …?’ Maxwell waited politely, his blandest expression firmly pinned on his face.
    Jacquie took a deep swig of coffee, muttering something into her mug.
    ‘Hmm?’ Maxwell leaned forward. ‘I didn’t quite catch that. Sounded like “Chocolate, elephant, pencil” if I may quote Jeremy Hardy at this juncture.’
    Jacquie cleared her throat and straightened her back. ‘Monday,’ she enunciated. ‘I said I might pop in.’
    ‘Monday!’ Maxwell said. ‘Jacquie I really thought we had agreed …’
    ‘I don’t need a holiday,’ she said. ‘The exchange was a holiday, to all intents and purposes. I learned a lot, of course I did, but they wrapped me in cotton wool.’ She turned to Sylvia to explain. ‘I couldn’t carry a weapon, or, as you still call them over here, a gun, so there were limited options for what I could do. I worked mainly with the special unit assigned to the DA’s office, so we were mainly interviewing. Very different from our methods here.’
    ‘And sadly, very unlike any
Law & Order
episode I have ever seen,’ Maxwell cut in. ‘They do use those things for smashing down doors, though. I would love to have one of those.’
    ‘Perhaps for Christmas,’ Jacquie said, patting his knee.
    Sylvia looked perplexed. ‘Why would you want one?’ she asked.
    ‘Why would you
not
?’ Maxwell asked, making vague swinging motions in the air.
    ‘He’s a funny age,’ Jacquie said. ‘As it was, I had to stop him talking to my temporary colleagues about the – and I quote – “balls up” they made over the Bobby Kennedy shooting.’
    ‘When was that again?’ Sylvia asked.
    ‘Before your time,’ Maxwell assured her.
    ‘So, as I was saying,’ Jacquie brought them back to the here and now,‘I don’t need a holiday, I haven’t been working hard at all. And Henry is pretty desperate, with staff on maternity leave, off with bugs, stress, you name it. So,’ and she raised a pre-emptive finger at Maxwell before he could speak, ‘I am going back on Monday, ad hoc hours, no night calls and the leave will re-accrue. So that’s it. No arguing.’
    ‘I know better than to even try,’ Maxwell said. ‘I’m surprised you made it Monday. I was expecting you to go back this afternoon.’
    ‘Don’t be silly. It’s Saturday.’
    ‘And what does that have to do with the price of fish? However, this does rather open the door for me going in to get the results.’
    ‘Had you planned not to?’ she said, archly.
    Sylvia watched the match with a wry smile. ‘I think that makes it deuce,’ she said. ‘Do you need any help with Nole?’
    ‘Results day might be a help,’ Maxwell said, ‘but aren’t you normally there to wipe noses?’
    ‘Noses, tears, the whole lot, yes,’ she said. ‘We’ll talk – I think Guy will be free, or perhaps Mrs Troubridge – how is she, by the way? I kept meaning to look in, but Hector seemed to be on it.’
    ‘She’s blooming. A little disappointed to see the Count back, I fear, but of course over the moon to get the Boy back. She was asleep in here this morning; I nearly had a heart attack.’
    ‘I forgot to ask about Metternich – how did he get on in LA?’
    ‘Racoons were a challenge at first, but he soon got the hang of them. Skunks, he came to an arrangement with. I’m not sure whether there are still mountain lions around, but if so, there are probably fewer now. He had a whale of a time. Has an American accent, of course, but we’re hoping it will pass.’
    Sylvia looked confused. ‘Are we still talking about Metternich? Or has Nolan got an American accent.’
    ‘Of course,’ Maxwell looked quizzical. ‘They both have.’
    Jacquie began to relax. The conversation had taken a rather more domestic turn and Bernard Ryan’s lack of alibi, which she should never have allowed to slip out anyway, seemed to have been forgotten.
    ‘Have you got loads of