Mascot Madness! Read Online Free Page A

of a giant banana.

12
Mr Brainfright’s important lesson no. 2

    A confused opponent is a weakened opponent.

13
Who wants to be the banana?

    â€˜You really like bananas, don’t you, Mr Brainfright?’ said Jenny.
    â€˜What’s not to like?’ he replied. ‘They are bright and cheerful in colour, easy to peel, and taste great. Plus they’re good for you.’
    â€˜But where did you get a banana suit?’ said Gretel.
    â€˜I found it!’
    â€˜You
found
a banana suit?’ said Gretel.
    â€˜Yes!’ Mr Brainfright beamed. ‘It was one of the happiest days of my life. I was taking a shortcut across a vacant lot and I found the suit lying in a puddle. I took it home, cleaned it up, and it was as good as new. Why anybody would want to throw away a perfectly good banana suit is completely beyond me!’
    It wasn’t beyond me, though.
    I knew exactly how it got there.
    And to tell you the truth, I would have been happy never to see it again.
    Mr Brainfright held it up. ‘So,’ he said, ‘who wants to be the banana and inspire Northwest Southeast Central School to victory?’
    We all looked at each other.
    â€˜Hmm,’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘Well, what about you, Gretel?’
    â€˜No, we can’t spare Gretel,’ said David. ‘We need her for shot-put, javelin and discus.’
    â€˜Then how about you, David?’
    â€˜Oh no, sir,’ said David. ‘I’m a long-distance runner and I also do the long jump. I don’t think I could do those in a banana suit.’
    â€˜Good point,’ said Mr Brainfright, looking around the room. ‘Penny and Gina. Are either of you interested?’
    â€˜No, Mr Brainfright,’ said Gina. ‘We do the hurdles.’
    â€˜Our horses love the hurdles,’ said Penny.
    â€˜Grant?’ said Mr Brainfright.
    â€˜Pole vault,’ said Grant.
    â€˜Jenny?’
    â€˜Relay, sir.’
    â€˜Jack?’
    â€˜Um, er, I have to focus on my event,’ said Jack.
    â€˜Which is?’ said Mr Brainfright.
    â€˜Triple jump,’ he said, with a perfectly straight face.
    The class laughed.
    Jack grinned. ‘What about you, Henry?’ he said, trying to deflect attention from himself.
    â€˜No,’ I said. ‘I can’t.’
    â€˜Do you have a special event?’ Mr Brainfright asked me.
    â€˜Yes,’ I lied. ‘I have to do a sports report for the school newsletter.’ Well, it wasn’t really a lie—it was the truth, although it wasn’t the whole truth about why I couldn’t possibly be the banana mascot.
    â€˜What’s the matter, Henry?’ said Jenny. ‘You’ve gone all red!’
    â€˜Oh,’ I said, ‘have I? It’s very hot in here . . .’
    â€˜But the windows are wide open,’ said Jack.
    â€˜I can vouch for that!’ said Mr Brainfright.

14
Mr Brainfright inspires the school

    â€˜So,’ said Mr Brainfright, ‘nobody wants to be the banana mascot?’ He looked around the room.
    Nobody volunteered.
    Especially not me.
    â€˜Well,’ he said, with a big smile, ‘I guess that leaves me!’
    Despite Mr Brainfright’s attempts to find a volunteer, I got the feeling that he wasn’t too disappointed to be getting back into the suit.
    â€˜Can somebody do the zip up at the back?’ he said.
    Jenny jumped up, zipped the suit, and Mr Brainfright immediately began singing. ‘If you’re a banana and you know it, clap your hands!’
    None of us clapped, though.
    We just stared.
    If you’ve never seen your teacher in a banana suit singing ‘If you’re a banana and you knowit, clap your hands!’, let me tell you it’s a pretty bizarre sight.
    But our staring and non-clapping didn’t seem to dampen Mr Brainfright’s enthusiasm. ‘If you’re a banana and you know it, clap your hands!’ he sang.
    He looked so