Love and Pollywogs from Camp Calamity Read Online Free Page A

get some kissy-face with some boy while Mom wasn’t around. Otherwise, why did she even want to go? She’s mostly in love with her teacher, Mr. Constantino, buthe’s already married. I heard Maxey tell Phil once that even though she thinks the boys in her class are a bunch of big wieners, she needs to start practicing kissing on them so she’ll be ready when she gets to high school.
    The doorbell rang and I heard the front door open. Maxey was talking to someone, and then her voice got louder. Mom joined in, and next thing I knew there was a lot of yelling from the front yard.
    I looked out the bedroom window and saw Maxey racing around the lawn grabbing up her panties. Two of the Turner boys were out there watching and having a big laugh. Excellent! This would be all over the neighborhood by tomorrow morning.
    Mom grabbed a rake from the side of the house and tried to knock the polka-dot britches out of the tree. I ducked so she wouldn’t see me.
    I began to count.
    Ten, nine, eight—
    The front door banged.
    Seven, six, five—
    A stampede headed upstairs.
    Four, three, two, one—
    “You are DEAD MEAT, EFFIE!”

O n Sunday morning at 8:45, all thirteen girls and twelve boys from my class were in the St. Dominic’s parking lot. Maxey and a couple of the other older kids who were helping at camp had left the day before to get everything ready for us. Maxey had gloated in my face about getting to go first. I didn’t care when she left as long as she wasn’t on my bus ride to camp.
    Sister Lucille raced around like she’d had way too much coffee, which she usually gives up for Lent because she says it’s her vice. She wore a red Camp Wickitawa Staff tee over her nun outfit, and it looked sort of hilarious. She had on hiking sandals too, instead of her regular nun shoes. Her toenails were not painted black, I noticed, which I thought they might be since it would match her habit.
    I was so super happy that Frank would be at camp! Mr. Giles, who had been to the last twenty-eight camps, needed to have his knee recapped that week, so Frank was taking his place. Honestly, I thought the boys were going to have way more fun with Frank than with Mr. Giles, who is more of an indoorsy man. Frank is my mom’s BFF from college, and even lived with us for a while. Officially, he’s a priest, but he’s taking a time-out from the church, but not from God, as he likes to say. He is very handsome, and I bet if he gives up being a priest, he’s going to have a lot of woman problems. As in, too many women wanting to marry him!
    Aurora was shooting her basketball a few last times while we waited for everything to get put on the bus. Sometimes I feel jealous of Aurora’s basketball talent. I wish there was something I loved as much as she loves basketball.
    The thing I love more than anything is having two best friends. So far I wasn’t a star at it. Maybe by the time camp was over I would be. Especially if I won Outstanding Camper. Everyone would wish that I was their best friend.
    But I wouldn’t trade mine for anything, of course!
    Principal Obermeyer drove into the parking lot in her shiny silver pickup truck. It has a rainbow sticker on the back window, which Maxey and Phil say means she’s a big ol’ lesbian. I said it might mean that she likes rainbows, but they just rolled their eyes at me. I don’t care what she is as long as she’s my principal. She scares some kids, but Iknow she’s like one of those dark chocolate candies with a soft marshmallow center.
    She jumped out and hurried over. She didn’t have a camp shirt on, because she wasn’t coming with us. I wished she could, but she had to run the school while we were gone. But she was wearing a big smile. She clapped her hands for us all to gather round.
    “Good morning! Good morning! Can I get everyone’s attention? Please? This will just take a moment. I know you’re all very excited to get on your way.” Principal gave me a special smile and I blushed.