Long Goodbyes Read Online Free Page B

would visit often, spending many hours at my bedside, her thoughtful, intelligent face heavy with worry.
    ‘It is my fault,’ she declared. ‘I should not have encouraged our outing on such a day.’
    I laid my hand upon hers. ‘Dear Orla, you are not to blame for the inclemency of the weather.’
    ‘No, but I feel responsible, nevertheless,’ she said. ‘What was I thinking?’
    Over her shoulder I saw Jack appear at the bedroom door, carrying a luncheon tray loaded, as usual, with all manner of foodstuffs I simply could not face.
    ‘But you must,’ he said at my refusal. ‘How will you regain your strength?’
    ‘She will, in time, Jack. You must prepare something simpler, something smaller to tempt her,’ Orla smiled.
    ‘It’s not enough,’ he muttered, retreating from the room. ‘Not at all.’
    ‘Now you are the patient,’ Orla said quietly, ‘and Jack is the carer.’
    ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘It does not feel quite right.’
    ‘It will be good for him,’ Orla said to the accompaniment of clattering pans and utensils.
    ‘I hope so,’ I said. ‘He has been acting rather oddly of late.’
    Orla pursed her lips. She was always so precise in her considerations as well as her appearance. ‘He has been through a most dreadful experience,’ she said, ‘and it is not something he will be able to cast off lightly or quickly. You must be very patient. Who knows how long such scars will take to heal?’
    ‘Dearest Orla, you are wise. I have concluded the same, you see, but I am impatient and fretful.’  
    ‘You are nothing of the sort,’ she declared, tapping me lightly on the arm with her finger. ‘You have been unwell and now you must think of yourself. Jack is managing more than adequately, and I shall look in again tomorrow.’
    ‘Thank you. You are a good friend.’
    And so she departed with a cheerful wave, leaving me with my thoughts and the incongruous sounds of Jack’s newly-inaugurated kitchen regime resonating through the cottage’s nooks and crannies like the tolling of a discordant bell.

chapter four

    I made a good recovery and was soon back on my feet, happy to relieve Jack of his nursing and catering duties. He, however, seemed morose and unsettled at the resumption of my normal routine.
    ‘You are too thin,’ he said to me one morning at breakfast. ‘How will you keep well without a proper diet?’
    ‘Actually,’ I said, a little petulantly, ‘I am quite capable of managing my own diet. You are worrying over nothing.’
    ‘I shall be out and about for a couple of hours today,’ he said. ‘I mean to talk to the local smith about a horse. I think it would benefit us both to ride a little.’
    ‘What a lovely idea. I shall come with you.’
    ‘No.’ His reply was abrupt and defensive.
    ‘Why ever not?’ I knew, of course, what his intentions were likely to be. The house.
    ‘It’s a man’s business, selecting a horse.’
    ‘You are going to the house, are you not? Deny it!’
    His hesitation told me that I was right. ‘What has come over you? Why are you so obsessed?’
    ‘I am not obsessed.’  
    His tone was harsh, like a dog’s bark, and I felt close to tears. With a great effort I composed myself.  
    ‘Please, let us talk it over. Can you not take me to the house, show me what it is which has so captivated you?’ I reached across the table for his hand, but he withdrew it and ran it instead through his unbrushed hair.
    ‘No. I cannot.’
    My heart sank. ‘Jack, please, what has happened? This is a new beginning for us, remember? We were to be so happy.’
    He sighed deeply. ‘Nothing has happened. I am merely conducting some small explorations.’
    ‘But you lied to me. About the horse.’
    ‘I intend to purchase a horse. It is no lie.’
    ‘Very well,’ I said, suddenly angry. ‘Go and conduct your ‘small explorations’, if that’s what you want.’
    At that he got up, took his coat from the stand and departed without another word, leaving me