Little Wing Read Online Free Page A

her.
    â€˜It’s a map,’ said Pete. ‘A map of where you’re going when you don’t know where you are.’
    â€˜Write that,’ he ordered Emily. So she wrote at the top: A Map Of Where You’re Going When You Don’t Know Where You Are.
    She’d slept through lunch and was starving hungry. She crammed cheese on toast into her mouth while she wrote, and spots of grease appeared on the paper.
    That night she switched on the lamp beside her bed and found a piece of paper. For a while her pen hovered and was unable to make a mark. She struggled for words. In the end she wrote:
    Dear Matt,
    i hope you are well. i think about Mahalia all the time. i think about both of you, and i’m so grateful that you are there for her. i know you’ll be looking after her really well.
    i can’t come back just yet
    i’m sorry
    Emmy
    i want everything for you. The moon and the stars and the sea and the entire universe. i want everything for me too. i want you and Matt and me 4 ever and ever.
    Having you with me makes me greedy for life – more greedy even than i used to be. i want Everything. Nothing less than Everything will be enough. Not just for now, but for the whole of my life.

6
    Her mother rang.
    Charlotte took the call. She signalled to Emily, but Emily shook her head and went outside to get away from the conversation. It was very early spring, and the earth was still cool. Blossoms had struck out bravely, only to be withered by blasts of cold.
    Two little girls played in the garden next door. They had constructed a cubby with a blanket nailed to the fence. Emily peered surreptitiously through the palings. The children had tiny plastic plates filled with grass and flowers, and small cups of water. Four dolls sat obediently in a circle. Two pairs of small human hands ministered to them. Their voices floated through the fence, piping and childish.
    Then they noticed her watching them, and ran inside.
    Charlotte came out and hesitated under the clothesline. ‘I wish you’d spoken to her, Emily. She means well.’
    But Emily had slammed out of the garden, her feet pounding along the path.
    Martin took one look at her face and suggested that they go for a walk. Emily had come without dressing for the weather, so he found her a jacket. Again, she wore the wool scarf from the peg in the hall, and Cat’s rainbow hat, and Pete didn’t object this time. He was like a puppy, eager to be off.
    In the park Pete ran around and around in circles, his feet scattering pigeons. Martin chased him, veering off at one point to run over to where Emily leaned against a tree. He tried to pull her out to join them.
    â€˜Bet you can’t catch me, Emmy!’ Pete yelled.
    Emily’s heart wasn’t in it (she had no heart), and her legs were heavy and reluctant. But by the time Martin and Pete had collapsed on the ground, and Emily came panting up to them, she was surprised to find a faint purring in her chest, a few bubbles of air that made her remember what her life had once been like.
    She waited on the grass while Martin and Pete went to the shop in the street opposite to buy iceblocks, and she and Martin sat on the grass to eat theirs while Pete went off to the sandpit to play. He sang to himself, and laughed. Emily noticed how many times in a day Pete laughed – he was always finding something to delight him. Grown-up people laughed very rarely. It was a long time since Emily herself had laughed at anything at all.
    â€˜Can’t you talk to me, Emily?’ said Martin. ‘I might be able to help.’
    But she shook her head.
    â€˜Smile, then.’
    Emily turned up the corners of her mouth.
    When Pete ran over and said, ‘Emily, what’s the most delicious icecream flavour you can think of?’, she replied with a show of energy, ‘Vegemite! What’s yours?’
    â€˜Broccoli,’ he said, entering into the game. ‘Guess what flavour