Learning to Soar Read Online Free Page B

eyebrows at her over the top of the glass. “But let’s get back to you, Chloe. Why didn’t the dates work out?”
    “You can probably guess,” she answered with a bitter expression. “I’d go out on a few dates with a guy, and he’d be this really great, good-looking guy with a cool job who was actually nice to me. We’d go back to his apartment, and everything would be moving along.”
    “By that you mean,” Damien interrupted, “you were starting to have sex?”
    Chloe blushed and nodded. “Exactly. So, we’d undress and start, you know.”
    “Kissing, touching, fondling each other?” supplied Damien.
    “Uh-huh. And I’d feel a little nervous, but each time I’d think, ‘ This time it will be different. I won’t think about Mark.’ But when it came to it, when he entered me and things started to get hot, I’d do it.”
    “You’d think of Mark.”
    She nodded. “Yeah. I’d think about how he used to say I looked like a troll doll when I came. And how he said he just couldn’t do it anymore. And how I wasn’t good enough and never would be. I’d shut down and go cold and make the guy stop. He’d never understand why, but I couldn’t exactly explain, you know?”
    “Why couldn’t you explain?” Damien prodded. “You said they were great guys. Wasn’t salvaging those relationships worth trying to work through it?”
    “I know.” She shook her head. “I’m so mad that Mark has done this to me. I’m afraid, I guess.” She wiped her eyes and continued in a quiet voice. “I’m afraid that they’ll all agree with him. That I look ugly when I’m having sex, and that I’m”—she exhaled—“not good enough.”
    “What about when you’re by yourself? Can you reach orgasm using your hands? Do you try sex toys?”
    Chloe looked away, embarrassed. “I’ve tried it a few times. Monica bought me a vibrator. The same thing happens, though. I get, you know, excited, and think that this time I’ll finally be able to come, and then Mark’s voice breaks in right before I climax. ‘You look ugly. You’re just not good enough.’ Each and every time.”
    Damien leant forward abruptly and reached for Chloe’s twisting hands, then recoiled with a nervous chuckle. “Sorry, I make a point to keep my hands off clients after our initial handshake. My bad. But, Chloe, trust me when I say that you’re stunning. There is no way in hell that you could ever look ugly. Not now, not ten years from now, not fifty years from now. You have made a success of yourself, by yourself. You should be much prouder of that than of your beauty, and that’s saying a lot. I know for a fact you will find a job soon. In this economy, layoffs are common, but talented and driven workers like you rise to the top like cream.”
    Chloe managed a watery smile. “Well, thanks for the pep talk. But I’ve tried to give myself pep talks, too, and nothing seems to bleach the nasty stain that Mark left behind.”
    Damien went on. “I have a plan, Chloe, that I think will solve your sexual problem. I have every confidence that you can become orgasmic again and that this sexual problem you have will be a thing of the past.”
    His eyes narrowed. “I’m going to be frank. This guy, this Mark, is a classic low self-image creep. He tried to make himself feel better by putting you down. He was a loser and a disappointment to his family. Nobody screwed Mark over, not in high school or any other time. He was responsible for his own failure. It seems clear that he couldn’t come to grips with your success when he couldn’t even manage to graduate from college. I’m sure that’s why he ended the relationship right after you earned your master’s degree. He was a transparent, jealous asshole. Mark was never, ever good enough for you, and we’re never going to say his name again. He’s forgotten, like the greasy limp-dick weasel that he is. He doesn’t deserve a space in your memory.”
    Chloe giggled and nodded. “If you