Learning to Be Little Again Read Online Free Page B

pictures and didn’t see that Boyle was starting to take full control of my life.
    “I respect your decision. Ultimately, everything is your choice. So whether you want to follow what I tell you to do is your decision. Mark and I are just trying to get you better.”
    “I understand,” I said, looking down at my lap again.
    “Do you, Juliana? I’ve been telling you to go to a doctor for the past month and you never would have if I hadn’t made this appointment for you today and forced you to come,” Mark growled.
    I looked up at him and shrank away. He looked so angry. I didn’t like it when that look was pointed at me. It reminded me of the fact that he was a very big, muscular man and I was a small, thin girl. He could force me to do anything if he really wanted to.
    “You d-don’t under-understand,” I said, beginning to cry. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t like feeling forced to do anything at all. Especially because the last time I was forced into something it left me in the situation I was in now. I put my head in my hands so neither Mark nor Robert had to see me cry.
    “Mark, could you please give us a minute?” Robert asked.
    “Sure. I’ll be in the waiting room,” he said, standing and leaving.
    I kept my head in my hands as I cried. My teddy bear fell to the ground off of my lap. I felt so embarrassed now. I went to the doctor like he wanted me to. I heard what was wrong with me. I told them no, that I didn’t want to go to a therapist, and now he yelled at me. He wasn’t being fair! This whole situation wasn’t fair!
    “Juliana, please look at me.”
    I lifted my head to see that Robert was kneeling down in front of me. I hadn’t heard him get up from his chair. He handed me my teddy bear.
    “I’m s-sorry.” I cried as I held the teddy bear close to me.
    “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. All Mark wants to do is help you. I’m sure that he didn’t mean to snap at you,” he said, rubbing his hands up and down my arms.
    I don’t know what came over me, but I launched myself into his arms. He caught me, wrapped his arms around me, and then moved so that he was sitting in the chair and I was on his lap.
    I cried into his shoulder for a few minutes, just letting out my pent-up pain. I hated feeling like this. I didn’t want to, but I just couldn’t get over it. I also didn’t want to think about how good it felt to be wrapped in his arms.
    When I finished crying, he asked, “You done?”
    I just nodded, not ready to face him yet.
    “Juliana, please look at me.”
    I shook my head, not ready to look at the man who was still rubbing my back after I’d stupidly cried all over him. I was crazy. He was going to lock me up because I must look like I lost my mind.
    “Juliana, look at me right now,” he said in an authoritative voice, a voice I knew meant business.
    I looked up at him to see him staring into my eyes, and I couldn’t help but blurt out, “I’m sorry!”
    “Listen to me, sweetie. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. I know that you were treated poorly by your last daddy and that because of him, you have so many problems today.”
    I just nodded my head, not sure what to say as I gave my teddy bear another squeeze.
    “I can understand why you don’t like talking to strangers and why you don’t like people touching you. I just hope that one day, you do get better and you let yourself find a new daddy to love and take care of you.”
    “I’m never going to find a new daddy again,” I declared.
    “Why not?” he asked, looking a little taken back.
    “Because I’m never going to play in that lifestyle again. It caused me too many problems.”
    “Don’t say that. It wasn’t the lifestyle that caused you problems. It was the person who you played with that caused all the problems. Don’t stop being who you are just because of one really bad experience. Don’t give that evil man that power over you.”
    I nodded again, not wanting to tell him that a very