Lawn Boy Returns Read Online Free Page B

morning to a bunch of neighbors on the front lawn taking pictures of our house. I was especially proud that they got such good shots of Zed’s camper and his laundry, mostly made up of skidmarked underwear, which he had drying on the line he’d strung between his radio antenna and the garage light. Luckily, Zed slept through the excitement, so they didn’t get a picture of him in his tightie whities and bedhead.
    And there were also a bunch of girls about my age who wanted my autograph. I like girls, but Ican’t talk to them. Not a word. Turns out you don’t have to talk when you sign autographs, and they smile and are nice to you anyway. Sweet.
    By 9:47 that morning, Arnold had received numerous calls about me.
    “The local university has invited you to lecture to their econ department, the newspaper wants to do a series on you and me and our working arrangement, several Internet teen sites have expressed interest in having you blog for them, and the big cable sports channel wants to fly you and Joey to New York to be on their round-table program Sunday morning.”
    “I don’t know about any of that…. I mean, what to do …”
    “Wait, there’s more.” He studied a fistful of messages.
    Real good. I was so hoping there would be more. More was what I was lacking in my life. I needed more
more
around here. I started to get dizzy.
    “We’ve also gotten an offer from a national lawn fertilizer company for you to endorse their new organic mix. Who knew all poop wasn’t organic—they have plastic cows? And a swimming pool company wants to pay you to use your picture on theirtrucks because of the high-quality pool cleaning you’re known for. A licensing company wants to be the official supplier of Lawn Boy T-shirts, lunch boxes, thermoses, caps, water bottles, sunglasses, sunscreen, lawn bags, gardening tools and, for some reason, giant foam fingers.”
    “Um …”
    “Oh yeah, and can you run outside when we’re done talking here and sign autographs for those girls sitting on the curb waiting for you with their autograph books? They’ve been here since I woke up. I sent Kenny and Allen out to deal with them when they arrived this morning, but I think the girls are waiting for you.”
    I peeked out Arnold’s window. This latest batch of girls were cute. Maybe even cuter than the girls in my front yard. Kenny was spinning his basketball on his forefinger as he talked to three or four of them. Allen and some curly-headed girl were sitting on the curb sharing a book. Good; Kenny and Allen would make it way easier to face all those girls.
    I turned back to Arnold, who was still talking.
    “We’ve also gotten a call from an entrepreneurin Texas who wants to talk to you about the possibility of opening nationwide franchises.”
    “What does that mean?”
    “Like what you set up here with Pasqual. You lend your name to the company and they start up subdivisions of lawn care, shrub trimming, pool cleaning, sidewalk edging and garage cleaning services, from which you receive royalties and other fees.”
    “Arnold. I don’t feel so well.”
    “But this is groovy. Capitalism plus publicity equals monster commerce.”
    “And that’s a good thing?”
    “That’s a far-out, trippy thing.” He waved his whole body back and forth in place, like a round little willow tree bending in a gentle breeze. “It makes the world, like, move.”
    The world wasn’t the only thing moving. My dizziness was getting worse, and not only was Arnold waving, but there were two—no, wait, three of him.
    I knew that the only thing that would settle me down was to do a few lawns. As soon as Arnold turned to answer a question from Gib, I slipped out the kitchen door to the garage, crawled through theside window and shinnied down the wall next to the overgrown lilac bush. I squatted in the branches and texted Pasqual: NEED TO WORK; GIVE ME AN ADDRESS.
    As soon as I got his reply, 4024 BROADWAY, I commando-crawled through the bushes to