La's Orchestra Saves the World Read Online Free Page B

Spain and Germany.”
    He did not think that there was too much cause to worry. “Spain’s Spain, and always has been. They’re cruel. They’ve always been cruel—and not just to those unfortunate bulls. Germany is full of militaristic bravado,” he added. “But they’re weak. Our Empire is so much bigger, so much more solid. They’ve got nothing really. No wonder they go on about
Lebensraum …
”
    La had never taken a very close interest in politics, but she read the newspapers and now it was impossible to be indifferent to what was happening. She took to attending lectures on economics and unemployment, and she felt the sense of outrage that gripped the audience. It was intolerable that people should be deprived of the fundamental dignity of being able to work for a living. Everybody was suffering, she read, but she did not think this was true. She and Richard were still well-off; it was something to do with not having too much invested in the stock exchange, Richard said, and in the continued demand for good wine.
    She volunteered to teach a course in literature for the Workers’ Educational Association. Richard did not like hergoing off to the East End alone, but she did nonetheless, and became involved in a parish soup kitchen and in a team that assisted a nurse to inspect the heads of children for lice and to shave their hair. The children were dirty, and her hands would smell after the smaller ones had taken them and clasped them. They wanted affection, these children, and she embraced them. “Careful,” said the nurse. “Check your own hair, Mrs. Stone.”
    “We are at the centre of the greatest empire the world has ever known, Sister Edwards. And yet there’s all this want. Look at it.”
    “It’s always been like that, Mrs. Stone. Nothing’s changed, has it?”
    Richard said: “I’m not happy about all this, La. You have everything you need. I know that things are bad for some, but there’s not much we can do, is there? You don’t have to spend so much time trying to change things, you know.”
    They disagreed on this, but La’s view prevailed. Her feelings for Richard had changed over the first year of their marriage; she was used to him now, and the fondness she felt for him had deepened. She began to worry about him, to feel anxious if he was late home. She took his hand at odd moments and held it to her breast. “I do love you, you know,” she said. “So much. You know that, don’t you?”
    He smiled. “Strange woman.”
    “Strange that I should love you?”
    He winked. “Maybe.”
    She went to a doctor, discreetly, without telling him that she had made the appointment. The doctor said, “It’s difficult to tell. People can wait for years, you know, and then suddenly a child comes along. We can do some investigation, of course. But it may not reveal anything.”
    But it did. The doctor, who understood these things, who knew that the wife might not want the husband to know, did not write her a letter, but waited for her to telephone back for an appointment.
    “It’s not good news, I’m afraid, Mrs. Stone.”
    She left his surgery and walked back along the street, past the underground station where she should have caught her train. She walked on, along unfamiliar pavements in the hinterland of Harley Street. One future had closed to her with the doctor‘s few words.
    She told Richard. He seemed surprised that she had consulted the doctor without telling him.
    “You should have spoken to me about it, La,” he said. “I’m your husband, for God’s sake.”
    “We never spoke,” she said. “I always felt it was a subject you didn’t want to address. I’m sorry if I was wrong about that.”
    He spoke angrily. “You were.”
    “I’m very sorry. And it’s my fault that we can’t have children.”
    He softened. “It’s not your fault. It’s not.”
    “Well, put it this way—I’m the reason.”
    “It doesn’t matter. Come here.” He put his arms around her. “I