Lady Bag Read Online Free Page B

eyes?
    ‘It’s the pure thoughts,’ she said. ‘I feel no hate or rage: only love.’
    ‘Oh do shut up,’ I said, and we went out into the stone-coloured afternoon.
    Joss was there with a man who was circling him like a vulture, saying, ‘I should fucking kick your ugly teeth in. This ain’t your pitch, you nonce.’
    ‘Bring it on!’ Joss yelled. ‘Who you calling nonce, arsehole?’
    Both of them were working their insane technique. It’s what certain guys learn in prison, and it’s like they’re saying, ‘I can take more pain and dish out more hurt than you cos I’m crazier than you.’
    The sight of two homeless guys trying to frighten each other over a small square of pavement was so depressing that I left Gloucester Road and tried to find my way back to Harrison Mews. But could I? You’d think I was lost in the space-time continuum. I couldn’t find Harrison Road let alone the sodding mews.
    ‘It’s not like I’m… ’
    ‘What? Totally fucked up?’ Electra said. ‘Don’t kid yourself.’
    ‘Well you find it then. You can’t, can you? I should’ve chosen a bloodhound over a greyhound.’
    She gave me a look full of patience and accusation before turning right through a hidden entrance, up some stone steps and out into a tiny secret churchyard. The sign over the church door said, ‘Apple Pip Montessori Pre-school.’ Dotted among the ancient headstones were wire cages holding lop-eared rabbits and ginger guinea pigs happily munching on the grass and bits of carrot. Electra and I stared at them, astonished. She sniffed at a couple of the cages but the occupants showed no interest or alarm. They knew her sweet nature without even bothering to ask.
    I unrolled a blanket and sat behind a grave. It was quiet and private, an island in a fast moving stream. I settled down, and when no one came rushing out to send me away I opened a tin of dog food for Electra, plopping it onto her red plastic bowl. When she’d finished I gave her some of the guinea pigs’ water to drink. We were safe and comfortable in South Kensington and we celebrated by going to sleep.

Chapter 5
    I Find Myself At The Wrong End Of A Boot
     
     
    I was dreaming about walking up to a house with a yellow door. My lovely high heel shoes clicked and wobbled on the cobble stones and I was afraid I’d fall over and mess up my party dress. It was important I look my best. Love and success were waiting behind the yellow door if I could only get there in time.
    I opened my eyes. Two very small children in Oshkosh dungarees were petting Electra who had rolled on her back to let them tickle her tummy. A young woman with shiny fair hair was shaking my foot and saying, ‘You’ll have to go now. Wake up—you can’t sleep here.’ Behind her several children stared at me curiously.
    ‘Is she dead?’ one of them asked cheerfully. ‘Why’s she making that funny noise?’
    ‘Is she Big Foot?’
    ‘She’s snoring,’ the teacher said. ‘Go inside for your milk and biscuits.’
    ‘Can Big Foot have milk and bikkies?’
    ‘She isn’t Big Foot,’ the teacher said, ‘and she’s going home now.’
    ‘Can the doggie have some milk and bikkies?’
    ‘Go inside,’ the teacher said, a note of desperation creeping into her voice as I sat up smiling eagerly.
    ‘ Chocolate bikkies?’ I asked.
    So Electra and I were given milk and chocolate biscuits because the people at Apple Pip Montessori were too nice to send us away empty-handed. They even gave us directions to Harrison Mews. And waved us goodbye, their faces wreathed with smiles of complete relief.
    I am a bad person. I have received gifts today—coffee, sandwiches, milk and chocolate. Strangers have been kind. I should be more loving because of it. But I cannot free my mind from its pit full of boiling rage. In this pit I am hungry and thirsty, yes, but not for food and red wine. Nothing will fill the jagged hole but revenge. I would like to see some blood. My hunger would feed