Killing Kate Read Online Free Page A

now,” I point out.
    “I’m
on bereavement,” he explains.  “I get three days off.”
    “Are
you gay?”  I ask.  I’m slightly sincere as he’s hit on a major point.  Devin
never brings girls home.  He had a girlfriend in high school that he was pretty
crazy about, and I mean nuts.  Like they used to shoot up and cut each other
and drink their blood or something far out like that.  He gives me a LOOK. 
“It’s a valid question, Devin.”
    “No,
I’m not gay, Jenna,” he tells me.  “I do meet women, but I’m more concerned
about your well-being right now than I am about getting laid.  Living with you
wouldn’t really cramp my love life since I don’t have time for one anyway.”
    “Oh,”
is all I can come up with.  “Devin, I’m fine.  It’s just…Jack.”
    Devin
nods.  We sit silently for a bit until the waiter comes back with the check. 
Devin pays the bill and we walk outside.  Kate is standing against the building
with her arms crossed, looking coolly at Devin and me.  I light a cigarette and
give it to Devin and light one for myself.  It’s still warm and muggy out, but
it was beginning to feel stuffy inside the restaurant.  We walk slowly to where
Devin’s bike is parked.  “Want a ride?” he asks me.  I’m about to say no
because of Kate, but the way Devin is looking at me - he can tell I’m
struggling with Kate.  He knows she’s here, and he’s testing me.  I need to let
him know I’m okay.
    “Sure,”
I say.  He gives me his helmet and gets on first.  I adjust the helmet and I am
glad I wore jeans to sit on the bike with.  He turns on the engine and I feel
the vibration of the Harley reverberate all through my body, and the leather
seat has soaked up the warmth of the outside.  Devin gets on and I shift closer
to him and put my arms around his waist.  He walks the bike out of the space
and takes off.  In his side mirror I see Kate standing behind us, glaring with
a look that makes me realize that I am going to feel her wrath.  Later.
    For
now, I just want to ride.
    *
    “How
the fuck could you just leave me there to fend for myself?”
    “Go
away, Kate,” I say, closing my eyes.  I want to win this, I really do.  Being
with Devin makes me want to be better, just to make him happy with me.  I don’t
want him to worry.  I don’t want to go back to the hospital.  I just want to be
free.
    “Fuck
you,” she says, getting in my face.  We are sitting face to face on my
mattress.  I know she will hurt me tonight.  Let her hurt me, I think.  Feeling
pain is at least feeling something.  “I’m always here when you need me, Jenna. 
You need me.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t even exist.  So how can you fucking leave
me?  You love Devin more than me?  Where was he when everything happened?  Did
he step in when things were bad?”
    “I…can’t
think,” I say.  “I want to leave you, but you always find me.”
    “And
why do you suppose that is?” she asks me.  “Why do you think you can’t get rid
of me, even though you seem to want to so fucking badly?”
    “I
don’t know!” I say.  “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.”
    “Do
you even love me?” she asks me.
    “Yes,
Kate, I love you,” I sigh.
    “Show
me,” she demands.  She is wild and beautiful right now, her hair a rage of
strands in her lovely flushed face and her eyes glowing like hot coals with
hatred toward me.  I feel her pain now, and I know how much she loves me and
wants to be in my life.  I take her hand and press her fingers in between my
legs and I hear my own lips make a moaning sound.  “We haven’t done this in a
long time,” she whispers.
    “I don’t like it without you,” I
tell her.  Pleasuring myself is a ritual, but one where the pleasure is forced
without Kate.  The tips of her fingers feel good and warm against me.  She
begins to move them around without me guiding her, tracing the edge of my
panties, gently touching me through