Jailbait Read Online Free Page A

get away with it” scenario in my head for a few minutes, smiling at a few of my more outrageous ideas, like feeding her to wild pigs. (Seriously, Thomas Harris, did you have to go there with
Hannibal
?)
    But much as I enjoyed imagining it, murder probably wasn’t very likely.
    Needing another perspective on this, I decided to give my sister a call. I used a computer scrambler that ghosted my phone number, because Sis tended not to pick up when she knew the call was from me. I never could figure out why.
    “This is Jack Daniels.”
    “Jackie! It’s Harry! How’s things?”
    Her groan rattled my ear drum. “My back hurts, my feet are swollen, and if I don’t get this kid out of me soon, I’m going to eat my gun.”
    Jack also happened to be pregnant.
    “Yeah, that’s great,” I said. “But I got a problem and I want your advice.”
    “Do you have any chocolate?”
    “What?”
    “Phin isn’t answering his cell, and I’m too fat to fit behind the wheel of my car. I need chocolate.”
    I swear I could hear her drool. “I’m in the city, Sis. You’re in the suburbs. How am I supposed to…”
    “I’m hanging up. And I hate it when you call me Sis.”
    Christ, were all pregnant women this psycho? Why weren’t they clearly marked with warning labels, like poison or high voltage lines?
    “Hold on, let me think.” I rubbed my forehead. “There’s a drug store down the street from you.”
    “I’m not going down the street. I’m so fat I don’t think I can even fit through the door. I split a pair of stretch pants. Do you know how fat you have to be to split stretch pants?”
    “I’ll call the store, ask them to deliver some chocolate to you.”
    “Drugstores don’t deliver.”
    “I’ll be persuasive.”
    “Do it. When I get the chocolate, I’ll call you back.”
    “Wait, I—”
    She hung up.
    I had to use a combination of my charming personality and good, old-fashioned bribery to get the drugstore to deliver Jack some sugary goodness. Five Snickers bars cost me a hundred bucks. Fucking incredible. For that kind of money, they had better be filled with gold nuggets and cocaine.
    When Jack called me back, her mouth was full. “Thabths.”
    I assumed that was chocolate-speak for
thanks
.
    I folded myself into my leather couch. “I got a problem, Jack. I knocked someone up.”
    “Poor thing. I feel for her.”
    “Think about me.”
    “I am. That’s why I feel for her.”
    “She wants to have it. And she wants me to be involved.”
    “And you, since you’re you, want to continue with your solitary, selfish ways, being a blight on society and not doing a single good thing for anyone other than yourself.”
    “I love it that you understand me so well.”
    “How far along is she?”
    I had to think for a moment. “I don’t know. She looks about fifteen months. She’s so big, she has her own gravitational pull.”
    “You need to man up, McGlade.”
    I frowned. “That’s your advice? Man up?”
    “I gotta go. Phin just came home, and I’m so horny I could scream. Call me next month, lemme know how things turned out.”
    She hung up the phone.
    I didn’t know where Tangi lived. I didn’t even know her last name. But I was a private investigator, and it only took me three days of round-the-clock searching before I realized I still had her number on my cell.
    “What do you want, asshole?”
    “It’s me. Harry.”
    “I know who it is.”
    “I’ve been… thinking… about our situation.”
    I could practically hear Tangi roll her eyes. “I’ll bet.”
    “I’m ready to claim maybe a tiny bit of the responsibility for this. Assuming it’s mine.”
    “It’s definitely yours. I had a dry spell for two months before you, because Sal’s goons kept chasing men away. And after you, I decided to become a lesbian.”
    “Really? That’s hot.”
    “Why did you call, McGlade?”
    I took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I want to be a part of this and support any decision you