a postcard! You have to send me a postcard! A typical touristy one with the Statue of Liberty on it, or an I Love NY one. And not one you could get at a rest stop. I want a real one from Times Square!” Zoey said, her smile bright and full of life. You would never know that she had cancer, or that it had recently spread. Zoey had such a zest for life, and she never let anything get her down. Never showed fear, despite her most recent diagnosis, and I was in awe of her. I knew what she was facing: more rounds of chemo and radiation that would make her tired and sick as a dog.
But I tried not to think about that. The only thing I was focused on was getting to New York and finding a way to get my sister the help she needed, knowing that regardless of what she would deal with, she would do it with courage and dignity, and in the end, she would win this round too, and still be with us. I refused to think otherwise.
“I’ll send one,” I assured her.
“I don’t believe you,” she said, pushing a finger into my chest.
“Bastian,” she said, but she didn’t even have to finish. He knew exactly what she was going to say.
“I’ll make sure of it,” he promised, and then kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll miss you, kid.”
She rolled her eyes because she hated when he called her that. We were only three months younger than him, but it was a nickname that stuck.
“I’ll miss you, too. Now, don’t forget about us little folk when you make it big.”
Neither of us said anything. We were doing this for her, but she didn’t know it. We didn’t tell her because she would have stopped us. She always wanted us to follow our own hearts and our own dreams, and, if she knew we were putting her ahead of that, she would have flipped a lid.
The future was a blank slate, and we had no idea where it would lead us or that the steps we took in that moment would determine our futures. We didn’t care. We had one goal in mind and not a lot of time to achieve it.
“I’ll miss you too, big bro,” Zoey said, and gave me a hug. I was one minute and thirteen seconds older than her, but some days I felt like I was years older. She would always be my baby sister, and I would always feel this overwhelming need to protect her.
If I knew then that this would be the last time I saw her, the way I would always remember her, I would never have left her… but nobody knew what was to come. Sebastian and I got in the car and headed off. Zoey waved until we could no longer see her in the rearview mirror.
Sebastian and I made it to New York the next day, determined. At first, we got odd and end jobs until we found our place in the world. Our first apartment was a studio where we slept on sleeping bags on the floor and used a shower curtain to separate our toilet from our kitchen. It was a shithole, but we made it work.
I started training in a gym, and Sebastian got a job as an assistant with some bigwig CEO, both stepping stones to the fame and fortune we now knew. But, before we were able to make the leap, we received a phone call.
I had just left the gym, floating on cloud nine because I had my first fight scheduled, when my phone rang. I slid it out, and smiled at the familiar number.
“Hey, Mom!” I said, excited to tell her about the news.
“Knox,” she said, and I could hear the distress in her voice. The brokenness that would become permanent.
“What’s wrong? What is it?”
Mom didn’t say anything, but I could hear her sniffling. Hear her trying to hide the sounds of crying. My heart pounded feverishly against my chest as I waited for her to speak.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she muttered, “Zoey. It’s not good. You should try to get home.”
“What do you mean, it’s not good? I just spoke to her two days ago. She sounded fine. She said she was feeling good.”
“She lied. She’s been really sick.”
“No,” I argued. “She would have told me.”
“She didn’t want you to