wasnât much of a spirits drinker, but these, he reminded himself as the fiery liquor warmed his belly, were unusual circumstances. He knew he should go back to work, but he couldnât face it: Billâs questions, Frankâs obvious disapproval. No. He ordered another double, and after heâd finished that, he went home for the afternoon. The first thing he did when he got into the house was tear up the copy of Mayfair and burn the pieces in the fireplace one by one. After that, he tore up his video club membership card and burned that too. Damn Hakim!
â¢
âTerence J. Reed, it is my duty to arrest you for the murder of Deborah Susan Harrison . . .â
Reed couldnât believe this was happening. Not to him. The world began to shimmer and fade before his eyes, and the next thing he knew Rodmoor was bent over him offering a glass of water, a benevolent smile on his bible salesmanâs face.
The next few days were a nightmare. Reed was charged and held until his trial date could be set. There was no chance of bail, given the seriousness of his alleged crime. He had no money anyway, and no close family to support him. He had never felt so alone in his life as he did those long dark nights in the cell. Nothing terrible happened. None of the things heâd heard about in films and documentaries: he wasnât sodomized; nor was he forced to perform fellatio at knife point; he wasnât even beaten up. Mostly he was left alone in the dark with his fears. He felt all the certainties of his life slip away from him, almost to the point where he wasnât even sure of the truth any more: guilty or innocent? The more he proclaimed his innocence, the less Âpeople seemed to believe him. Had he done it? He might have done.
He felt like an inflatable doll, full of nothing but air, maneuvered into awkward positions by forces he could do nothing about. He had no control over his life any more. Not only couldnât he come and go as he pleased, he couldnât even think for himself any more. Solicitors and barristers and policemen did that for him. And in the cell, in the dark, everything seemed to close in on him and some nights he had to struggle for breath.
When the trial date finally arrived, Reed felt relief. At least he could breathe in the large, airy courtroom, and soon it would be all over, one way or another.
In the crowded court, Reed sat still as stone in the dock, steadily chewing the edges of his newly grown beard. He heard the evidence against himâall circumstantial, all convincing.
If the police surgeon had found traces of semen in the victim, an expert explained, then they could have tried for a genetic match with the defendantâs DNA, and that would have settled Reedâs guilt or innocence once and for all. But in this case it wasnât so easy: there had been no seminal fluid found in the dead girl. The forensics Âpeople speculated, from the state of her body, that the killer had tried to rape her, found he was impotent and strangled her in his ensuing rage.
A woman called Maggie, with whom Reed had had a brief fling a year or so ago, was brought onto the stand. The defendant had been impotent with her, it was established, on several occasions towards the end of their relationship, and he had become angry about it more than once, using more and more violent means to achieve sexual satisfaction. Once he had gone so far as to put his hands around her throat.
Well, yes he had. Heâd been worried. During the time with Maggie, he had been under a lot of stress at work, drinking too much as well, and he hadnât been able to get it up. So what? Happens to everyone. And sheâd wanted it like that, too, the rough way. Putting his hands around her throat had been her idea, something sheâd got from a kinky book sheâd read, and heâd gone along with her because she told him it might cure his impotence. Now she made the whole sordid