I'm the One That I Want Read Online Free Page B

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    “Don’t tell my brother to shut up! You shut up, Moron! MORON!!!!”
    I tried to ignore them and got into a boat by myself. Not really knowing how to row, I pushed back from the dock a few feet and panicked. I must have only been about five feet away, but it might as well have been miles because I couldn’t move the boat back at all. I was slowly drifting out onto the lake. I envisioned myself washed ashore on a deserted island, far away from the taunts and flying pine cones, meeting Christopher Atkins there in our own Blue Lagoon , eating bananas and wearing a loincloth and having sex for the very first time . . .
    Carl and Mike started to miss me, I guess, because they started to scream at me.
    “MORON! MORON! Just paddle it back. Don’t hog the boat, pig! Boat Hog!! MORON!!!”
    Lotte, Connie, and Ronny joined them on the dock. They all stared yelling. “MORON!!! God! Can’t you do anything? Just paddle it back. We want to go, too. MORON!!! Stupid. C’mon. Hurry!”
    I was trying to make the oars move in the water, but they were too heavy. The boat started to drift back toward the dock, but not nearly as quickly as they would have liked, so they all screamed louder.
    “MORON! Can’t do anything! Why don’t you just go home? You are ruining it for everybody. MORON! WE hate YOU!!! MORON!!!! GO HOME! GO HOME GO HOME GO HOME!!!!”
    A camp counselor, one of the older Korean girls in Jolie’s class, came down to the dock. “Just row it. Just hold the oar. No! Just— come on! Other people want to use the boat, too. Come on. Don’t be so selfish. Just row back here. Come on!”
    “Yeah, MORON. Do what she says. Come on. MORON! MORON MORON MORON MORON MORON!!!!!!!!!!”
    I was not going to cry. I was too old for that. I was not going to give them the satisfaction. My face was red, and my eye still burned from the pine cone. My arms were killing me from rowing. Finally, with a pull on the oars that took all of my strength, the boat banged on the dock.
    Carl jumped in the boat and tried to push me in the water, but I was fast and ran back to the girl’s cabin.
    The cabin was quiet. Everybody was off doing something fun, enjoying the time away from home with friends, getting tan, doing arts and crafts, playing volleyball, going to second base in the bushes. It made the silence unbearable.
    I thought I would sleep for a while to make the time go faster. I just wanted to go home. Why did I come? What had I been thinking? That suddenly, when we were all away from home, I would be friends with everyone? But then, it had been only a few weeks ago that I was at Lotte and Connie’s house, making plans about coming to the church camp, picking out boys we liked, wishing Connie’s sty would go away before the big weekend. Was I losing my mind? What could I have done? Carl and Mike and Jaclyn and Eugene always hated me, but how could they so quickly infect everyone else with that feeling? Hate was contagious, I guess. I was coming down with it, too. I hated myself and sat down on my cowboy sleeping bag.
    It made a crunching sound. I looked inside the bag. It was filled with dry leaves, pine cones, sticks and dirt—even dog shit! I heard laughter coming from outside the cabin. I recognized it. It was Lotte and Connie. I couldn’t take it anymore and I started to cry. I was a million miles from home, everybody wanted me to leave, and I had just gotten here. Filling up my stained old sleeping bag was so mean, and obviously just the beginning. What else would I have to endure for the next three days?
    I went outside to shake out the bag. The girls were gone. I emptied it as well as I could, but it still smelled of eucalyptus and shit. I wanted to wash it, but figured it would be even worse wet. I took it back inside and sat with my head down on the bottom bunk.
    Another girl and a boy came into the cabin. A waiflike girl named May Cha stood there with her brother Johnno, a fat kid who had allergies. The area from the