I Kissed Dating Goodbye Read Online Free Page A

his needs but then rejected her when he was ready to move on.
    Does Jayme's story sound familiar to you? Perhaps you've heard something similar from a friend, or maybe you've experienced it yourself. Like many dating relationships, Jayme and Troy's became intimate with little or no thought about commitment or how either of them would be affected when it ended. We can blame Troy for being a jerk, but let's ask ourselves a question. What's really the point of most dating
    17 relationships? Often dating encourages intimacy for the sake of intimacy-- two people getting close to each other without any real intention of making a long-term commitment.
    Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is plainly dangerous. It's like going mountain climbing with a partner who isn't sure that she wants the responsibility of holding your rope. When you've climbed two thousand feet up a mountain face, you don't want to have a conversation about how she feels "tied down" by your relationship. In the same way, many people experience deep hurt when they open themselves up emotionally and physically only to be abandoned by others who proclaim they're not ready for "serious commitment."
    the seven habits of highly defective dating
    An intimate relationship is a beautiful experience that God wants us to enjoy. But He has made the fulfillment of intimacy a byproduct of commitment-based love. You might say that intimacy between a man and a woman is the icing on the cake of a relationship headed toward marriage. And if we look at intimacy that way, then most dating relationships are pure icing. They usually lack a purpose or clear destination. In most cases, especially in high school, dating is short term, serving the needs of the moment. People date because they want to enjoy the emotional and even physical benefits of intimacy without the responsibility of real commitment.
    In fact, that's what the original revolution of dating was all about. Dating hasn't been around forever. As I see it, dating is a product of our entertainment-driven, "disposable-everything" American culture. Long before Seventeen magazine ever gave teenagers tips on dating, people did things very differently.
    At the turn of the twentieth century, a guy and girl became romantically involved only if they planned to marry. If a young man spent time at a girl's home, family and friends assumed that he intended to propose to her. But shifting attitudes in culture and the arrival of the automobile brought radical changes. The new "rules" allowed people to indulge in all the thrills of romantic love without having any intention of marriage. Author Beth Bailey documents these changes in a book whose title, From Front Porch to Backseat, says everything about the difference in
    18 society's attitude when dating became the norm. Love and romance became things people could enjoy solely for their recreational value.
    Though much has changed since the 1920s, the tendency of dating relationships to move toward intimacy without commitment remains very much the same.
    For Christians this negative swerve is at the root of dating's
    joshua harris problems. Intimacy without commitment awakens desires-- emotional and physical--that neither person can justly meet. In 1 Thessalonians 4:6 (kjv) the Bible calls this "defrauding," ripping someone off by raising expectations but not delivering on the promise. Pastor Stephen Olford describes defrauding as "arousing a hunger we cannot righteously satisfy"--promising something we cannot or will not provide.
    Intimacy without commitment, like icing without cake, can be sweet, but it ends up making us sick.
    2. Dating tends to ship the "friendship" stage of a relationship. Jack met Libby on a church-sponsored college retreat. Libby was a friendly girl with a reputation for taking her relationship with God seriously. Jack and Libby wound up chatting during a game of volleyball and seemed to really hit it off. Jack wasn't interested in an intense