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squeezed too tight for speech. I shook my head. Beside me, Rachel was gasping for breath.
    He kept frowning at us, his eyes hard.
    ‘We speak the truth, Father. The Lord is our witness.’
    ‘We would
never
grieve you or the Lord like that, Father.’
    It seemed Ira knew the Fellowship better than we did if our own father would not believe us.
    ‘Go and help your mother. I will ask the Lord for guidance in this matter.’
    But first we ran to the bathroom where we both threw up.

Five
    The Rule
    A person expelled from the Fellowship is deemed to be dead. Nobody will speak of such a person.
    IT WAS A SOBER AFTERNOON . The children saw we were upset and, for once, even Abraham didn’t pester for answers. Mother, after a sharp glance at us, carried on as normal.
    A bolt of envy shot through me that I would need to pray about later. Mother was so lucky. She was protected from the world by Father. He was the one who had to make the tough decisions, he was the one who stood between our family and the dangers of worldliness. All she had to do was bear children, nurture us, and show by example how to be a good and godly woman.
    When the heat of the afternoon was at its peak, Mother told us to take the little ones to the park,and for once Abraham didn’t object to being called little. He even fetched Zillah’s pushchair while we tied our scarves over our hair. Zillah tugged hers off immediately — but a child so young could be excused, so we didn’t worry.
    It took much discipline not to run flat out along the streets to the park. The moment we arrived, Abraham demanded, ‘Tell us what happened.’
    It was a relief to tell it without needing to worry about breaking the Rule.
    Luke burst out, ‘I
hate
Ira! He’s mean to me and Jesse too.’
    ‘Will you die?’ Magdalene’s eyes were wide and frightened.
    Here it was again — the fear that had been scorched into her very soul when first Miriam, then Daniel and Esther were cast out and deemed to be dead. ‘No, we won’t die. Miriam didn’t die. Daniel didn’t, and neither did Esther. They’re alive and they live in Wellington.’
    Father wouldn’t like us telling her that. But right now, my heart was hurting. He should know Rachel and I wouldn’t do anything to grieve him or the Lord. He should know it.
    Abraham left off tying complicated knots in his shoelaces and said, ‘I’m gunna beat that Ira up.’
    Rachel threw her arms around him. ‘Abraham! Thank you for the thought. But please, please don’t! They’d expel you from the Fellowship.’
    ‘Rachel’s right,’ I said. ‘We don’t want you to getin trouble. We need you.’
    He took off and raced around the park, running and running. Luke followed him, but Magdalene stayed with us, keeping a tight hold on our hands. ‘What if the Elders make one of you marry Ira?’
    I bent down to whisper, ‘We’ll kill him. Clog his arteries with cream so he’ll drop down dead of a heart attack.’
    She cheered up amazingly after that and even let us push her on a swing.
    Ira. He was eighteen but wasn’t yet betrothed. The Elders could well choose one of us to marry him and, if they did, we’d have to obey or accept that we’d never be given another chance to become a wife and mother.
    I would pray for good husbands for Rachel and for me.

    FAMILY PRAYERS WERE LONGER and more solemn than usual that evening. Our father gave us no hint as to whether he had decided to believe us and not Ira. Rachel and I were about to put Magdalene to bed when a voice called, ‘Praise the Lord,’ and in walked Elder Hosea, followed by Elder Asa.
    ‘Brother Caleb,’ they said to Father, ‘a word with you.’
    They ignored the rest of us, even Mother. It wasn’t a good sign. Ira must have decided to makemischief. Well, if that was the case, I was glad we’d already told Father what happened. Even if it didn’t make any difference, at least we’d tried.
    It took a lot to reassure Magdalene. She was certain we’d disappear in