Hummingbird Heart Read Online Free Page A

to get lost. You can say no.”
    I swallowed hard. “Why? Why does he want to see me?”
    â€œI don’t know.”
    â€œSo he just suddenly got curious or something? Like, maybe he was bored one day and remembered, ‘Oh yeah, I have this daughter. I wonder what she’s like’?”
    â€œI don’t know.” She hesitated; then she cleared her throat as if she was going to say something.
    â€œWhat?”
    She dropped her eyes, shook her head. “I really don’t know.”
    â€œHe just called? For no reason? Why?”
    â€œOh, Dylan. I’ve told you everything I know.”
    I just looked at her. Maybe she didn’t know why Mark was here, but there was something she wasn’t telling me. I’d put money on it.
    â€œI have,” she protested. “You know I haven’t seen him since before you were born.”
    â€œI know. But…this is really weird.”
    â€œTell me about it.”
    She’d never told me much about my father. Just a one-night stand , she’d said. No one important. She’d happily share all kinds of details about her current boyfriends—and I mean way too much information—but whenever I asked her anything about the guy who got her pregnant, she basically brushed me off.
    Was he tall, like me?
    Yes.
    What color were his eyes?
    Shrug. It’s too long ago, Dylan.
    Mom…
    Blue. Okay? They were blue .
    It was like pulling teeth.
    I only had this one bad photo of him: Mom in denim cutoffs, looking very pretty despite being too skinny and having dyed black hair and heavy black eyeliner. Standing behind her, out of focus, was Mark. All I could really tell about him was that he had brown hair and a blue T-shirt.
    She wouldn’t even tell me his last name, because she just didn’t want me going online and searching for him. According to her, he was an asshole and a selfish prick who had never even wanted to meet me. End of story.
    Only now he was here, in town. And he wanted to see me. I looked at my mother and blinked back my tears. “I guess you don’t want me to meet him.”
    She shook her head. “It’s up to you.”
    â€œI might not bother. You know, since he’s never bothered before.”
    â€œThat’s fine then. Fine.” That was all Mom said, but the expression that flickered across her face looked a lot like relief.

FIV e
    Mom and I seemed to have some unspoken agreement not to talk about it again, which was fine by me. I didn’t even want to think about it, though of course I did. It was hard to think about anything else. The air in the house seemed to be getting heavier and harder to breathe, full of the thick sour smell of unsaid things. By the time Saturday evening rolled around, I was desperate to get out of the house, even though parties weren’t my favorite thing.
    Toni was sitting on my bed, applying purple nail polish she’d borrowed from my mom. “What are you wearing?” she asked.
    I looked down at my jeans and blue sweater. “This?”
    Toni looked up from her fingernails and studied my face for a moment. “Okay, what’s the matter?”
    â€œNothing.” She might have money for a dozen different outfits but I did not. “You don’t think this looks okay?”
    â€œIt looks fine.” Toni gave me a scrutinizing kind of look. “It’s just that usually we try on different things and…oh, you know.” She blew out a breath of frustration. “Come on, Dylan. You’re so not into this party. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
    I opened my window. The nail polish fumes were stinking up my room. I tried to breathe shallowly and wondered why I hadn’t phoned Toni last night after Mom told me about Mark’s call. Usually I told her everything. “Just some stuff with my mom. You know.”
    Toni watched me, a mixture of hurt and irritation flickering across her face. She flapped