How To Steal a Car Read Online Free Page B

don’t see how that’s my fault. You’re the one who didn’t take the test.”
    “My parents think you have to be twenty-five to drive,” said Will, all pitiful and hangdog, a look he does particularly well.
    “I don’t get why you’re so pissed at Alton,” I said. “I mean,I know he’s a stuck-up jerk, and it was shitty of him to tsunami you, but isn’t stealing his Hummer kind of extreme?”
    “Why did you think I wanted the key?”
    “For the dead rat!”
    “He’s been telling everybody I’m gay.”
    “Really?” I wanted to ask, Are you? But I didn’t.
    “He told all the guys at Ducky’s I’m gay.”
    “Oh.”
    “I’m not.”
    “I wouldn’t care if you were,” I said.
    “The guys, they don’t really think I’m gay, but they’re having fun giving me shit about it. It’s a pain, y’know?”
    I could see where that would be a pain.
    “That’s not all,” he said. “You remember when Alton asked Jen out last May?”
    “Sure. She said no.”
    “Well, he’s also telling everybody that you and Jen are lesbos. And that I’m like your beard.”
    “I think a beard is a girl who dates a gay guy.”
    “Whatever. I just thought it would be fun to borrow his Hummer.”
    I sucked down the last of my drink. I had to admit, the idea of boosting Alton’s Hummer was sounding a little less crazy.
    Just for the record, Jen and I are not lesbians.

Roast chicken, wild rice, steamed kale, and a salad. I got away with not eating any kale. The rest of it was pretty good though. My mom can cook.
    “You don’t have much to say tonight,” she said to me.
    “I’m thinking about the white whale,” I said. “I know it’s a metaphor but I don’t know what for.”
    “How far are you in the book?” my dad asked.
    “Chapter four. The entire chapter is about a bedspread.”
    He laughed.
    “I’m not kidding. And I have a hundred and thirty-one chapters to go.”
    He laughed harder.
    “Did you read it?” I asked.
    He helped himself to more chicken. “I read the CliffsNotes version.”
    “Michael!” said my mother.
    “ And I saw the movie,” he said with a grin.
    “I’m sure you’ll get through it,” my mother said to me, giving my dad her we-must-set-an-example look.
    “Metaphors in famous old books are always about politics,” my dad said. “Or sex. I’m sure it will all make sense by the time they get to the harpooning.”
    “Did you know that everybody thinks we’re lesbians?”
    “Who?” Jen asked. “Everybody who?” We were talkingon the phone so I couldn’t see her, but I could tell from the nasal sound in her voice that she was lying on her back with her head hanging over the edge of the mattress.
    “Everybody. Alton Wright’s revenge for you not going out with him.”
    “I couldn’t go out with him because my parents have this ridiculous ‘no car dates’ rule!”
    “You’re supposed to say it was because you are devoted to Will, our one true love.”
    “Oh yeah. That too.”
    “Will wants me to steal Alton’s car.”
    “Really? And do what with it?”
    “He has an idea.”
    I put on my black-on-black auto theft outfit and sneaked out about an hour after midnight. Will was waiting behind the garage.
    “Hey,” he said, looking me over. “Cool.”
    “Let’s go.” We started walking. “Where does he live?” I asked.
    “Over by General Mills.”
    I stopped. “That’s like four miles from here!”
    “So?”
    “You could have told me.”
    “Sorry.”
    By the time we got to Alton Wright’s house it was two in the morning. The Hummer was parked at the curb, under a streetlamp. All the lights in the house were off. We stood in the shadow of a crabapple tree and looked around to make sure there were no late-night dog walkers or other signs of life. All we saw was a raccoon running across the street. My heart was starting up its mosh pit again. I grabbed Will’s hand. It was cold and sweaty.
    “If we get caught, this was your idea,” I