How to Get Famous Read Online Free Page B

have been very surprised. 'As
soon as our backs are turned,' he cried, 'we
find you stuck in here staring at that
screen – and on such a fine day too.'
    I replied, with amazing politeness,
'Would you kindly let me finish watching
my programme in peace before you moan
at me? It's a mystery, you see, and I have
to find out—'
    'No,' cried my dad, 'I want you outside in
the fresh air now.' Then he proceeded to
switch off the television. After which he
said I could do a job for him as well.
    So I was bundled outside with
instructions to pick up a prescription for
him at the chemist. And it wasn't even
very warm anyway. Serve him right if I
caught pneumonia. And how is it better to
be out here, breathing in all the poisonous
fumes from the many cars and lorries
steaming past, than tucked up inside exercising
my brain cells trying to solve a
mystery on TV?
    Sometimes, the injustices of life are just
too much for me.
    3.35 p.m.
    After picking up my dad's prescription I
couldn't return to that drab hell-hole I can
never again call home. So instead I cycled
about to try and cheer myself up.
    I was having this great daydream in
which I was being interviewed by all the
presenters of Blue Peter , when wham! , my
bike skidded on something and I was
catapulted over the handlebars, landing
with a massive bump on the road. I sat up
very slowly as all the breath had been
knocked out of me.
    Then I heard footsteps and this tiny, old
lady with bright red hair came pattering
towards me. 'Oh my dear,' she cried, 'are
you all right? Should I call a doctor?'
    'No, I'm all right,' I gasped, 'just a bit
winded.' But I let her help me to my feet.
Then we discovered Dad's prescription
bottle had smashed to smithereens. I don't
know if it was the shock of seeing that, but
I started swaying about a bit and the old
lady insisted I rest awhile inside her
abode.
    Well, I had nothing better to do and I'm
now reclining on her large sofa while she's
making me a cup of tea. Only I've just
reminded myself I'm not supposed to go
anywhere with strangers: ever. Still, she's
harmless all right. But then I suddenly
remembered this thriller I saw, where a
little old lady only pretended to be kind.
And after luring people into her house, she
spiked their tea with poison. I think she
stored all the dead bodies in her cellar.
    So I could be trapped here with a nutcase,
who at this very moment is heaping
huge spoonfuls of poison into my cup.
    What total rubbish! She's just being
helpful and nice. And I bet she'd never
switch the television set off in the middle
of a mystery. So actually, she can adopt me
if she wants.
    She's coming back now with the biggest
mug of tea you've ever seen. Just to be on
the safe side, it's best if I sip it extremely
carefully as I'd hate this to be my last
diary entry and die an unknown – Ha ha.
    4.25 p.m.
    Hooray, I'm still alive – well, you could
look a bit pleased.
    But guess what – this old lady, Mrs Kay,
has in fact got a big secret – which is even
better than her being the local poisoner.
For Mrs Kay – who said I must call her
Enid now (she and I have been getting on
dead well) – has got a famous niece: Alicia
Kay.
    She played that tough policewoman in The Bill , and always looked as if she had
extremely bad indigestion. Then she
portrayed a mysterious millionairess in
that comedy which my dad only let me
watch once, for some obscure reason. She's
been in tons of other stuff too. You'll
definitely recognize her face.
    Anyway, I spotted her in some of the
pictures adorning Mrs Kay's wall. And
soon she was telling me all about her
niece's life in the limelight.
    This was fascinating, but then came
some incredible news. Alicia Kay got her
first acting break in a small theatre at
Little Bridlington (which is about five
miles from here), and as a thank you she's
going to put on her own production there.
In fact, one week today she will be
auditioning children to be in a new version
of the story, The Secret Garden .
    And she's