theyâre all goodââ
âI want the one with toxic waste,â Leroy said clearly. âItâs okay. I told Daddy, and he told Santa, and Santa said heâd bring one. And Nanny Babs said Santa never lies.â
Iâm going to kill that fucking son of a bitch. And then Iâm going to kill that fucking nanny. Assuming they ever come back from Cancún. âWell, weâll just have to see, wonât we? Now you go to bedââ
âI know, and when I wake up, Daddy will be on vacation, but he loves me, and Santa will be here with my âGuffin.â He breathed heavily into the phone for a moment and then said, âBrandon said there isnât any Santa Claus.â
Rot in hell, Evil Nemesis Brandon. âWhat do you think?â
âI think there is,â Leroy said, not sounding too sure. âAnd I think heâs going to bring me a âGuffin tomorrow.â
âRight,â Trudy said, holding on to the box tighter.
âWith toxic waste,â Leroy said.
Oh, just hell. âMerry Christmas Eve, baby. Go to bed.â
âAunt Trudy?â
âFive hundred,â the woman in front of her said. âAnd thatâs my final offer.â
âFor the love of God, no, â Trudy said to her, and then said, âYes, Leroy?â
âDo you believe in Santa?â
What is this, a movie of the week? âWellâ¦â
âMommy says Evil Nemesis Brandon is wrong.â
âDonât call him that, sweetie.â
âIs he wrong?â Leroyâs voice slowed. âItâs okay if there isnât a Santa.â His voice said it wasnât okay.
Nolan nudged her gently and she realized the line had moved again. âWell, Leroy, I donât really know if thereâs a Santa. Iâve never seen him.â
âOh.â
Trudy swallowed. âBut that doesnât mean there isnât one. Iâve never seen SpongeBob, either.â
âSpongeBob?â Nolan said from behind her.
âSpongeBob is real. Heâs on TV.â Leroy sounded relieved. âSo is Santa.â
âWell, there you go,â Trudy said, feeling like a rat.
âThatâs the best youâve got, SpongeBob?â Nolan said.
Trudy turned and snarled, âHe loves SpongeBob. Shut up.â
âI know thereâs a SpongeBob,â Leroy said, happy again.
âAs do we all,â Trudy said.
The woman in front of her let her breath out between her teeth, clearly frustrated. âItâs the old MacGuffin; itâs not worth more than three hundred.â
âIâm sure youâre right,â Trudy said to her. âLeroy? Honey, itâs time for you to go to bed.â
âAnd when I wake up, Iâll get a âGuffin,â Leroy said. âGood night, Aunt Trudy.â
âGood night, baby,â Trudy said, and the phone clunked again as he dropped it.
âYour nephewâs name is Leroy?â Nolan said.
âItâs a nickname,â Trudy said, not turning around. âHis real name is Prescott Thurston Brown II.â
âOh.â He paused. âGood call getting a nickname.â
She heard the phone clunk again as Courtney picked it up.
âThat little bastard Brandon,â Courtney said.
âI think I prefer âEvil Nemesis,ââ Trudy said. âHeâs just a kid, Courtney.â
âHis mother is a hag,â Courtney said. âAfter she offered Leroy a hand-me-down MacGuffin, she asked me if Iâd found another nanny.â
âBitch,â Trudy said, and then smiled when the woman in front of her finally turned away, offended.
âHeâs counting on that toxic waste.â Courtneyâs voice was still teary, but now she sounded a little slack.
âCourt? You havenât been hitting the eggnog, have you?â
âNo, the gin. Iâm a terrible mother, Tru.â
âNo, youâre not.â Trudy shifted