Horror Business Read Online Free Page B
Author: Ryan Craig Bradford
Tags: Humor, Death, Horror, YA), dying, male lead
around for something to wipe up the coffee, finally settling on some legal papers). What is it? Come in!
Enter LT. CRONENBURG with a file under his arm.
CRONENBURG
Sorry, if I interrupted anything chief. (Nervously looks around) How’s your morning going?
RAIMI
It was pretty fucking fantastic. (He finishes wiping his shirt and throws the document away.) Now Lieutenant, where’s the fire?
CRONENBURG
(He frantically looks around) I’m sorry sir? Is there a fire?
RAIMI
It’s just a manner of speech, Crony! (Sighs heavily) What do you want?
CRONENBURG
Oh right (He composes himself and shuts the door to the office). I’m afraid I have bad news, chief.
RAIMI
I didn’t take this job to hear good news, Crony. Just spill it for Chrissakes.
CRONENBURG
It’s a murder, sir. It looks like the third one from what the newspapers are now calling “Jack the Disemboweler.” It occurred last night, and after some careful speculation I think that you personally need to take a look at the file.
RAIMI opens the file and peruses the pictures. He winces.
RAIMI
Catch me up on this fucking guy, Crony. What’s his shtick again?
CRONENBURG
Apparently sir, after he bludgeons his victims to death with a 45-pound sledgehammer, he cuts them open and wraps them up with their own insides as if it was proper casual attire. You remember the first guy who was wearing his own ribcage like a sweater vest? Or the woman whose intestines made a fine pearl necklace?
RAIMI
(Looking at the file picture) Then what’s this supposed to be?
CRONENBURG
Oh, that. My guess is that it’s supposed to be her uh … buttocks cut off and, er, made into a brassiere.
RAIMI
Fuck’s sake … .
CRONENBURG
But sir, as disturbing as all that is, I think this is cause for some concern (takes a blood-stained envelope out of his coat pocket) this was found on her person. It’s addressed to you. (He turns it around to reveal “Raimi” written on it in scribbly letters.)
RAIMI carefully takes the envelope, studies it before finally opening it. He looks at it for a moment, mouthing the words.
CRONENBURG
Well Captain, what does it say?
RAIMI
(Reading aloud) “When the stars at night are big and bright and the crows and ravens swoon, it’s high-time for bed, my friend, where I will send you soon.”
CRONENBURG
Does that mean anything to you sir?
RAIMI
(Puts the letter down.) Yeah (beat) it’s the rhyme our fucking mother used to tell us before she tucked us into bed.
CRONENBURG
“Us,” sir?
RAIMI
Yeah, me and my twin brother, Ted.
CRONENBURG
I didn’t know you had a brother sir—
RAIMI
(Cutting him off) That’ll be all Crony, I need to get some work done, if you could excuse me.
CRONENBURG
Oh right, I’m sorry sir.
Exit CRONENBURG
RAIMI remains at his desk, picks the letter back up and takes one last look before picking up his phone and dialing a number.
RAIMI
Hey Sissy-babe, it’s Sam … yeah how are you doing? … That’s fantastic … Oh just checking in on you … So, hey, could you do something for me? … Go around the house and make sure all the doors are locked … It’s probably nothing, I just get a little paranoid sometimes … Thank you… No, that’s all … I should be home a little early … Love you too. (Hangs up the phone and sits back, drinking the rest of his coffee that he didn’t spill, and then to himself he says) Teddy. (Beat) Mother fucker .
END SCENE
Bully
It’s hard to look cool with a kitchen knife at your throat. It’s hard to look cool when a greasy kid named Colt Stribal—with dirty hands and dirty teeth—holds that knife so close that your skin wants to give.
It’s hard to be cool in front of a kid like Colt Stribal, who doesn’t go to school because he can’t leave his knives at home, who roams the town aimless like a ghost, who gallops around in
Enter LT. CRONENBURG with a file under his arm.
CRONENBURG
Sorry, if I interrupted anything chief. (Nervously looks around) How’s your morning going?
RAIMI
It was pretty fucking fantastic. (He finishes wiping his shirt and throws the document away.) Now Lieutenant, where’s the fire?
CRONENBURG
(He frantically looks around) I’m sorry sir? Is there a fire?
RAIMI
It’s just a manner of speech, Crony! (Sighs heavily) What do you want?
CRONENBURG
Oh right (He composes himself and shuts the door to the office). I’m afraid I have bad news, chief.
RAIMI
I didn’t take this job to hear good news, Crony. Just spill it for Chrissakes.
CRONENBURG
It’s a murder, sir. It looks like the third one from what the newspapers are now calling “Jack the Disemboweler.” It occurred last night, and after some careful speculation I think that you personally need to take a look at the file.
RAIMI opens the file and peruses the pictures. He winces.
RAIMI
Catch me up on this fucking guy, Crony. What’s his shtick again?
CRONENBURG
Apparently sir, after he bludgeons his victims to death with a 45-pound sledgehammer, he cuts them open and wraps them up with their own insides as if it was proper casual attire. You remember the first guy who was wearing his own ribcage like a sweater vest? Or the woman whose intestines made a fine pearl necklace?
RAIMI
(Looking at the file picture) Then what’s this supposed to be?
CRONENBURG
Oh, that. My guess is that it’s supposed to be her uh … buttocks cut off and, er, made into a brassiere.
RAIMI
Fuck’s sake … .
CRONENBURG
But sir, as disturbing as all that is, I think this is cause for some concern (takes a blood-stained envelope out of his coat pocket) this was found on her person. It’s addressed to you. (He turns it around to reveal “Raimi” written on it in scribbly letters.)
RAIMI carefully takes the envelope, studies it before finally opening it. He looks at it for a moment, mouthing the words.
CRONENBURG
Well Captain, what does it say?
RAIMI
(Reading aloud) “When the stars at night are big and bright and the crows and ravens swoon, it’s high-time for bed, my friend, where I will send you soon.”
CRONENBURG
Does that mean anything to you sir?
RAIMI
(Puts the letter down.) Yeah (beat) it’s the rhyme our fucking mother used to tell us before she tucked us into bed.
CRONENBURG
“Us,” sir?
RAIMI
Yeah, me and my twin brother, Ted.
CRONENBURG
I didn’t know you had a brother sir—
RAIMI
(Cutting him off) That’ll be all Crony, I need to get some work done, if you could excuse me.
CRONENBURG
Oh right, I’m sorry sir.
Exit CRONENBURG
RAIMI remains at his desk, picks the letter back up and takes one last look before picking up his phone and dialing a number.
RAIMI
Hey Sissy-babe, it’s Sam … yeah how are you doing? … That’s fantastic … Oh just checking in on you … So, hey, could you do something for me? … Go around the house and make sure all the doors are locked … It’s probably nothing, I just get a little paranoid sometimes … Thank you… No, that’s all … I should be home a little early … Love you too. (Hangs up the phone and sits back, drinking the rest of his coffee that he didn’t spill, and then to himself he says) Teddy. (Beat) Mother fucker .
END SCENE
Bully
It’s hard to look cool with a kitchen knife at your throat. It’s hard to look cool when a greasy kid named Colt Stribal—with dirty hands and dirty teeth—holds that knife so close that your skin wants to give.
It’s hard to be cool in front of a kid like Colt Stribal, who doesn’t go to school because he can’t leave his knives at home, who roams the town aimless like a ghost, who gallops around in
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