Horrid Henry and the Scary Sitter Read Online Free Page B

Wouldn’t all this booty look great decorating his fort? A rug on the floor, an extra cookie tin, a repainted motto—“Down with girls”— yes, the Purple Hand Fort would have to be renamed the Purple Hand Palace.
    Speaking of which, where was the Purple Hand Fort?
    Horrid Henry looked around wildly for the fort entrance.
    It was gone.
    He searched for the Purple Hand throne.
    It was gone.
    And the Purple Hand cookie tin— GONE!
    There was a rustling sound in the shadows. Horrid Henry turned and saw a strange sight.
    There was the Purple Hand Fort leaning against the shed.
    What?!
    Suddenly the fort started moving. Slowly, jerkily, the fort wobbled across the lawn toward the wall on its four new stumpy legs.
    Horrid Henry was livid. How dare someone try to steal his fort! This was an outrage. What was the world coming to, when people just sneaked into your garden and made off with your fort? Well, no way!

    Horrid Henry let out a pirate roar.
    “RAAAAAAAA!” roared Horrid Henry. “AHHHHHHH!” shrieked the Fort. CRASH!
    The Purple Hand Fort fell to the ground. The raiders ran off, squabbling.
    “I told you to hurry, you lazy lump!”
    “You’re the lazy lump!”
    Victory!
    Horrid Henry climbed to the top of his fort and grabbed his banner. Waving it proudly, he chanted his victory chant:
    NAH NAH NE NAH NAH!

4
HORRID HENRY’S CAR JOURNEY
    “Henry! We’re waiting!”
    “Henry! Get down here!”
    “Henry! I’m warning you!” Horrid Henry sat on his bed and scowled. His mean, horrible parents could warn him all they liked. He wasn’t moving.
    “Henry! We’re going to be late,” yelled Mom.
    “Good!” shouted Henry.
    “Henry! This is your final warning,” yelled Dad.
    “I don’t want to go to Polly’s!” screamed Henry. “I want to go to Ralph’s birthday party.”
    Mom stomped upstairs.
    “Well you can’t,” said Mom. “You’re coming to the christening, and that’s that.”
    “NO!” screeched Henry. “I hate Polly, I hate babies, and I hate you!”
    Henry had been a ring bearer at the wedding of his cousin, Prissy Polly, when she’d married Pimply Paul. Now they had a prissy, pimply baby, Vomiting Vera.

    Henry had met Vera once before. She’d thrown up all over him. Henry had hoped never to see her again until she was grown up and behind bars, but no such luck. He had to go and watch her be dunked in a vat of water, on the same day that Ralph was having a birthday party at Goo-Shooter World. Henry had been longing for ages to go to Goo-Shooter World. Today was his chance. His only chance. But no. Everything was ruined.
    Perfect Peter poked his head around the door.
    “
I’m
all ready, Mom,” said Perfect Peter. His shoes were polished, his teeth were brushed, and his hair neatly combed. “I know how annoying it is to be kept waiting when you’re in a rush.”
    “Thank you, darling Peter,” said Mom. “At least one of my children knows how to behave.”
    Horrid Henry roared and attacked. He was a swooping vulture digging his claws into a dead mouse.
    “AAAAAAAAAEEEEE!” squealed Peter.
    “Stop being horrid, Henry!” said Mom.
    “No one told me it was today!” screeched Henry.
    “Yes we did,” said Mom. “But you weren’t paying attention.”
    “As usual,” said Dad.
    “
I
knew we were going,” said Peter.
    “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO POLLY’S!” screamed Henry. “I want to go to Ralph’s!”
    “Get in the car—NOW!” said Dad.
    “Or no TV for a year!” said Mom.
    Eeek! Horrid Henry stopped wailing. No TV for a year. Anything was better than that.
    Grimly, he stomped down the stairs and out the front door. They wanted him in the car. They’d have him in the car.
    “Don’t slam the door,” said Mom.
    SLAM!
     
    Horrid Henry pushed Peter away from the car door and scrambled for the left-hand side behind the driver. Perfect Peter grabbed his legs and tried to climb over him.

    Victory! Henry got there first.
    Henry liked sitting on the left-hand side so