Hopes and Dreams Read Online Free Page A

two of the more gossipy students have speculated that Sebastien was here because of his family connections, but you would never guess it to see him dance. He is good, as good as anyone – and he works really hard. Maybe that’s why – because he has something to prove?
    Our eyes meet, and a spark of connection flares between us. I am aware of my smudged eyeliner, my eyes pink from crying, my hair coming adrift from its bun and hanging down around my face in unruly ringlets. Sebastien looks right back at me, taking all of this in. I find myself wondering what it would be like to stretch out my fingers, trace the contours of his perfect cheekbones, and then I blush crimson at the very thought.
    I drag my eyes away, try to focus on what he’s just told me.
    ‘I’m sorry … I didn’t realize!’
    He frowns and looks out through the canopy of willows, across the frosted grass towards the golden stonework of the academy.
    ‘It is not so bad,’ he tells me. ‘My mother – she loves me, and she believes she is doing this for the best. It’s just that it has turned out to be the best for her, not for me. I do not talk about this to anyone at the dance school, Jodie, you understand?’
    ‘I won’t say anything,’ I promise.
    ‘It is not so bad,’ he says. ‘I enjoy the contemporary dance lessons very much. Joe Nash is an amazing teacher.’
    ‘I know,’ I agree. ‘He’s cool. I’m a bit out of my depth in his classes, though!’
    ‘It is new to you … that is to be expected,’ he says.
    We sit for a while in silence; me huddled in the corduroy jacket, Sebastien leaning back on the old steps, thoughtful.
    ‘I think it is it true, what Sylvie said,’ he says at last. ‘You hold back, a little, with your dancing. What are you afraid of?’
    ‘Nothing!’ I protest.
    But I’m not sure this is the truth. I am afraid of rejection, for starters – I have been knocked back before, first at the Royal Ballet School auditions when I was ten, and then here. In between I have lived with the casual assumption of everyone back home that Summer was the star, the one destined for the top. Having such a talented friend is hard. I was glad for her, always, and very proud; but sometimes I wished people could see past her dazzle, and maybe, just maybe, notice me.
    ‘Maybe I do keep a little bit of myself back,’ I admit. ‘It’s not a crime, is it? I’m not really one of life’s risk-takers!’
    ‘Perhaps you should be,’ he says. ‘It is fun! I think you can be a risk-taker, Jodie. Like me.’
    I shake my head. ‘My friend Summer – the girl who got ill – she was the kind of dancer who took risks, gave everything. Look what happened to her! She burnt out, got eaten up by it all …’
    ‘What kind of ill?’ he wants to know, and I tell him, even though I’ve never told the details to anyone before, not Sparks, not Naomi, not Tasha, not even my parents back home. I don’t know why it feels OK to tell Sebastien, but it does, somehow. It feels right. I explain how the pressure pushed Summer over the edge and into the arms of an eating disorder, how she ended up losing herself, losing her love of ballet, losing her whole future.
    ‘Scary,’ he says. ‘I hope your friend gets well again, but what happened – it wasn’t your fault, Jodie. You got this place because you are good. My godmother offered you a scholarship place. She thinks you have something special … and she wants to see it in your dancing.’
    ‘She’s asking too much,’ I say. ‘Lots of dancers work hard and focus on skills and technique. Can’t that be enough? Why does Sylvie want more from me?’
    ‘Because she
sees
more in you,’ Sebastien says, simply. ‘I know she does because I see it too … there is so much hidden with you, Jodie Rivers. So much going on beneath the surface.’
    He stands abruptly, shivering without his jacket in the cold, reaching out a hand to pull me to my feet.
    I like the feel of his hand in mine, and I