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Thanks.’
    ‘Rampant sex?’
    ‘Tempting – on any other night. I have to work. Seriously.’
    ‘One of my very special blow-jobs?’
    Zac looks at his screen. He has a very good head for figures. But if there's one figure that gives very good head, It's Pip. His eyes don't leave his laptop, his finger hovers above the mouse-pad. ‘A special blow-job?’ Zac asks, as if It's a deal-breaker. ‘Not just a standard one?’
    ‘Trust me,’ Pip winks.
    ‘Because,’ says Zac, ‘if It's just run-of-the-mill sucky-sucky, I'll pass. This audit is crucial.’
    ‘I'm not capable of run-of-the-mill sucky-sucky,’ Pip clarifies, hands on her hips, chin up.
    ‘I mean, I'm talking cosmic , Pip,’ Zac stipulates with a lasciviously raised eyebrow. ‘It needs to be mind-blowing.’
    ‘I assure you It's not just your mind I'll be blowing.
    ’ Finally, Zac looks from his laptop to Pip, then back again. Contriving a sigh, as if he was doing her the favour, he logs off. ‘I'm sure the powers that be will understand,’ he says.
    ‘I'll write your boss a note,’ says Pip. ‘I'll tell him the dog ate your homework.’ She takes Zac by the hand and leads him to the bedroom. They undress silently and have rude sex as quietly as they can.
    Matt had come back from work early, made sausages, mash and onion gravy. Perfect for a cold January night and essential for his girlfriend who'd told him she hadn't had time to eat more than toast and Marmite during the day. He'd bought a DVD too, which Fen managed to stay awake through despite snuggling up against the cosiness of Matt's chest. Now She's reading in bed and Matt is nuzzling the fragrant softness of his girlfriend's neck. His cock is surprisingly responsive. He'd only intended to kiss her goodnight. He didn't know he had the energy to feel horny.
    ‘How did we make Cosima again?’ Matt whispers, running his hand the length of Fen's thigh, spooning against her, the sensation of her buttocks against his erection causing his pelvis to rock automatically, his hands to travel up along her torso. He bypasses her breasts. They're Cosima's for the time being. He doesn't really mind, It's lucky He's always been a legs and bum man. And his hands sweep down to Fen's thighs again, and over them, and around. And he walks his fingers up through the fuzz of her sex then attempts to tiptoe them down in between.
    Fen's hand joins his. ‘I do want to,’ she announces, a tinge of apology, a ring of reluctance, which stills Matt's hand immediately. ‘I'm just really really tired. Sorry.’
    ‘I bet I can have you in the mood; bet you I can have you hollering for mercy,’ he tells her. He always used to be able to. He leans across her and kisses her, pulls her to face him, holds her against him. He rocks his groin gently against her,takes her hand down to his perky cock and works his hands over her body. He is not sure whether He's taken her breath away or whether She's holding it to pull her stomach in. But he feels her stiffen, and a glance at her face, where anxiety is mixed with reluctance, causes him to turn away from her, to stare at the ceiling with a sigh.
    ‘Do I feel different to you?’ she asks. ‘I'm still so squidgy and unattractive.’ And then she mutters that she shouldn't have had all that bangers and mash.
    ‘You look gorgeous,’ Matt says, ‘I keep telling you. God. Wasn't my raging hard-on proof enough how much I fancy you?’
    Fen shrugs and looks downcast. ‘I know you do,’ she says quietly, ‘but I have to fancy myself, too, to feel horny.’
    ‘Will you give yourself a break,’ Matt says. He switches off the bedside light and kisses her lightly on the shoulder. ‘Stop being silly.’
    Fen lies in the dark, wide-eyed and confused and wishing they had a spare room she could withdraw to. She encourages a hot, oily tear to sting its way from the corner of her eye and slick down her cheek and onto the pillow. She knows It's bizarre, but rather than being