Hearts That Survive Read Online Free Page B

She turned, placed the coffeepot on the sidebar, and hastily left, closing the door softly behind her.
    "I hope Craven doesn't pop in," Lydia said.
    John shook his head. "I already informed him we wouldn't be joining him this morning. He said he intended to take a turn in the gym."
    Lydia sat with her back to the windows and the ocean view, but she could see the soft blue of the sky in John's eyes.
    He offered a brief prayer of thanks for the food and asked that it give them health.
    After the "amen" Lydia buttered a Vienna roll, wondering if the uneasiness she felt was a touch of seasickness, or the dreaded morning sickness she'd heard about, or her concern over how John would express what was on his mind. The aroma of the breakfast however, became overwhelmingly appetizing. She had eaten little dinner last night, had no snack later, felt tired after reading Psalm 51, and fell asleep contemplating its meaning. Now she felt quite ravenous. She must try the buckwheat cake with a tad of honey.
    John took a couple gulps of coffee and returned the cup to its saucer. He told her about his past and the events of the Prodigal Son sermon that had caused him to confront his sins of having yielded to a less than exemplary kind of life during his college years. He'd asked the Lord's forgiveness and had learned of God's great love. "Something like that is what I thought you might find in Psalm 51."
    She nodded, now trying the tomato omelet. Surely she had heard the psalm read before. She supposed it hadn't concerned her, because she had never before felt she had sinned or gone against her upbringing or dishonored her father or herself.
    "We need to get this behind us, Lydia. Get rid of the negative and focus on the positive."
    Get rid? Oh, what did he mean? They could not change what was. Or is. Closing her eyes, she shook her head and swallowed her bite of food.
    "Lydia." His voice was soft. "Give me your hands."
    She opened her eyes and looked at the outstretched palms of his hands on the table. "Let's ask God's forgiveness."
    "Let me take a sip of coffee first."
    He sighed. "Maybe my idea of combining breakfast and talk wasn't a good idea."
    "Oh, yes," she said. "Otherwise, I would faint from starvation."
    His gaze turned thoughtful but patient while she took a couple sips of coffee. "I'm ready now. I really am." She set down her cup and placed her hands in his.
    His gentle pressure was like a sweet caress. "Forgive me, Lydia, for disrespecting you."
    "You didn't disrespect me, John. There was no coercion."
    He appeared to accept that. "But I did disrespect God's law." He bowed his head. "Almighty God, who sees our hearts, who knows our every thought, our every breath. We have brought a blight upon our love. Forgive us." He paused.
    "Thank you that you forgive us the moment we ask. You really forgave us when Jesus died on the cross. We only need to repent and ask. We are starting over now, with you as our guide, and we ask Thy blessing upon our lives. Amen."
    "Amen," Lydia said tentatively and barely managed not to grab her fork and behave like some hungry little urchin who'd never had a speck of learning.
    "Look out there," he said. "The ocean and sky have met and the horizon reaches into infinity. That's where our sin is now."
    She turned, squinted, and put her hands over her eyes as if she couldn't see that far.
    "That's right. We'll never be able to see it again. God said he would cast our sins into the deepest sea and remember them no more. We're clean, Lydia. We start anew now."
    She nodded. She wanted to believe that. If she did not have every indication a child was growing in her, if she hadn't missed her monthly time, if she didn't have that churning in her stomach even before shipping out to sea, then guilt likely would not have lain upon her so heavily. "I don't want you to think we have to get married."
    They were talking about this so calmly. And how could she be eating at a time like this? But the aroma beckoned and