Going Rogue Read Online Free Page A

deserve, but it’s all I can give you right now. But that’s going to change soon, I promise. I’m buying a commission.”
    “A commission?” she repeated, her voice barely registering above a whisper.
    “I’ve always loved you, Mere, but I’ve never had the means to provide for you. Now, with this commission, I can give you the kind of life you deserve. I wanted to ask you first, then approach your mother. We can return to Middlebury together—”
    “Middlebury?” She rubbed her forehead. “But you were the one who encouraged me to leave. You told me that I deserved more than being a village wife. And now that I’ve created a brand new life for myself here, you’d have me return?”
    “But you never wanted to leave,” he explained, the distance between them growing—both physically and in every other sense possible. “Don’t you remember that day on the stairs? You begged me to help you find a way to stay.”
    “You’re right,” she said defiantly. “I would have done anything to stay in Middlebury . . . with you. But you convinced me there was no better way to help my mother than by leaving with my aunt. You encouraged me to come here.”
    “Of course I encouraged you to go. You deserved a chance at a proper education, to learn to play music from a real master. And I thought you might even meet someone who could provide for you and your mother. But now there’s no need. With this commission, I’ll earn a decent wage and I can finally support you in the manner you deserve. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
    “You couldn’t love me.” Meredith’s shoulders fell. “You haven’t seen me for over a year—too much has changed. It’s too late.”
    “A year means nothing when I’ve known you for a lifetime,” he argued.
    “A year is a lifetime.” She shook her head. “I’m not the person I used to be.”
    “Of course you are. After you come home—”
    “Middlebury is no longer my home and I can’t go back. There’s nothing for me there.”
    “Except me?” He’d meant it as a bold declaration of his intentions. But his confidence was wavering and he knew the words were as much a question as they were anything else.
    “Don’t you see—I can’t marry you.” Her words cut like a knife. “I’ve a real chance here. Aunt Cynthia thinks I can be a duchess. An actual duchess! Can you imagine? Think of all I can do for my mother.”
    “I had no idea you held such lofty aspirations,” he said quietly, the ring tucked tightly within his fist.
    She looked down. “You said it yourself once—I deserve more than what life in the village has to offer me. How can I settle for being the wife of an officer when I have a real chance at a title?”
    He dropped the ring on the floor, the weight of it finally too much to bear. “Somewhere along the way, you seem to have forgotten what’s truly important, Mere.”
    “And what’s that?”
    “Love, friendship, loyalty . . .”
    She shook her head. “My mother followed love and look where that got her. She has nothing now but a crumbling house and stacks of bills. It takes far more than love to make a life—it takes a fortune.”
    And then he knew. This shell of a woman was certainly not his Meredith. His Meredith would never be so callous, so ruthless. The woman standing in front of him had her eyes, hair, and smile—but not her spirit.
    The girl he loved was nowhere to be found.
    Derek cleared his throat. “You’ve changed.”
    She looked at him. “We’re just too different now. I had hoped that it would be easy, that you’d just forget about me over time. Why do you think I stopped writing all those months ago?”
    It was the final blow to their friendship. She hadn’t been as preoccupied with her lessons as he’d thought. He knew the truth now—perhaps he’d known it all along. She hadn’t been too busy to write, she’d been too busy for him . She’d been trying to end their friendship amicably by