God's Little Freak Read Online Free Page A

have these feelings too?” Kevin wants to know.
    “Yes, I do. I’ve just never told anyone about it. You are the first one I am telling about this,” Brendan says and then presses his lips together.
    “I am? But why didn’t you tell anyone else?” Kevin asks again.
    “My god, but you are inquisitive.” Brendan takes a deep breath and sighs. “Because your brother gets this feeling with girls and I get it with boys. That’s what makes me a freak.”
    “What? Why are you a freak?” Kevin asks.
    “Because, normally one feels like this with girls,” Brendan replies.
    “Does that mean I’m a freak, too? I don’t understand ,” Kevin says.
    “No, you are not. You are very strange and special at the same time. I feel so relieved to at least tel l someone about it,” Brendan says. “I don’t feel as lonely anymore. It’s complicated. You won’t understand. You’re too young,” Brendan says quite sternly.
    “I don’t understand because you are not explaining anything. And don’t say I’m too young. I know about more things than you think. Didn’t you notice when we chatted on the boat?”
    “This is different. I don’t really want to talk about it. It’s a sexual thing. You know our families don’ t deal well with sexual matters,” Brendan says. He is gesturing more and more with his arms.
    “It’s sexual? But if I see sexual scenes on TV, I don’t feel like this ,” Kevin says.
    “When was the first time you felt it?” Brendan asks.
    “With you, the other night; and then the next day with so many others guys over and over again. And the day after that. I must say, a part of me feels it’s a bit too much, but then again I feel like wanting more. I don’t know what is going on with my body,” Kevin says while hitting trees with the stick.
    “You will definitely feel different about sexual matters from now on, I can promise you that. Not all of it feels good. I sometimes feel awful about it,” Brendan says.
    “But why? I think it’s great! Even if it’s sexual, it’s something new and I should explore. I’m becoming a man. I think it’s great and you should too,” Kevin says.
    Brendan doesn’t know how to deal with Kevin and becomes a bit frustrated. “I think we should talk about something else,” he says.
    “OK, but I want to talk about it, so if you want to talk about it, let me know. As you said, if it’s sexual, there is no one else I can talk to in my family,” Kevin says as he throws away the stick.
    “Yes, yes, n ow just leave it!” Brendan says.
    Once again there is a hint of rudeness in Brendan’s voice. Kevin doesn’t understand anything more about his body, but doesn’t want to annoy Brendan. He feels a bit disappointed that Brendan reacted this way and wonders why. He thinks that it’s probably the depression. They keep on walking without saying a word.
    Brendan on the oth er hand actually wants to talk about it. For so long, he has wished that someone would understand him and now he’s found someone. “But he is still a little kid,” he thinks. “He couldn’t possibly understand the gravity of the situation and I don’t want to explain everything.”
    After a while, Kevin remembers the evening with Melissa’s family and tells Brendan about it. Both of them laugh at the strangeness of that family. Then Kevin remembers something and says, ”I have a question, but promise me you won’t laugh.”
    “I w on’t,” Brendan says. He expects something serious.
    “What does wank mean?” Kevin says.
    Brendan burst s out laughing and cries out: “You don’t know?”
    Kevin i s immediately upset. ”You told me you won’t laugh!” he cries out.
    “I know, I know, but why do you ask me that now? I told you I don’t want to talk about it,” Brendan replies.
    “You said you do n’t want to talk about the stomach feelings and sexual stuff. What does wank have to do with it?” Kevin asks Brendan.
    “It’s kind of the same, or actually it’s