God Rob Ye Merry Gentleman Read Online Free Page A

always?’
    â€˜Because we’ll be undercover. We’ll need to wear scarves pulled up over our faces and hats pulled well down over our foreheads – for once I’m glad the wind is so biting. We don’t want to be recognised, and the new scooters will aid the plan admirably. No one outside this household knows we have them, yet.’
    â€˜Don’t want to be recognised by whom?’ asked Hugo doggedly.
    â€˜Never you mind. Anybody. If everything goes according to plan, all will be revealed shortly.’ And, with this, he had to be content for the time being, whilst Beauchamp entered with the tea tray, a conspiratorial wink in his eye for his mistress, just out of the elderly man’s line of vision.
    â€˜Hmph!’ sounded Hugo in a disgruntled manner, definitely feeling excluded from certain things which he simply could not fathom.

THE NEXT DAY…
    They had breakfasted early and were now wrapping up for their jaunt into Belchester. ‘Scarf, Hugo, well wrapped around your lower face. Don’t want you getting toothache, do we? And hat pulled down a bit so that the sun doesn’t dazzle you. Oh, and I’d suggest you wore your leather gloves instead of your woollen mittens; more grip, you see, on the handlebars.’
    â€˜Are there any other sartorial requirements from her ladyship?’ asked Hugo in exasperation. She usually wasn’t that fussy about his appearance in public. ‘Still, at least we won’t have to pedal.’
    â€˜I suggest you take a cane, just in case we have to ward off any stray pedestrians, children, or dogs.’ She didn’t usually make a distinction between the latter two categories.
    â€˜Do you propose to hit them to get them out of the way, then?’
    â€˜No, just a little tootle on my horn, and maybe a prod for the less alert ones.’
    Hugo thought about this for a moment, and the word ‘massacre’ crossed his mind. ‘You’ll get yourself arrested if you show any tendencies towards violence.’
    â€˜Don’t be so outrageous. Me? Violent? Why, I’m the most peaceable of denizens in Belchester,’ Lady A replied, while Hugo thought about the bruise on his right ankle which he had obtained when he had said something which particularly irked her at dinner a few evenings ago and had resulted in a sharp kick.
    â€˜Just stay calm, Manda. Even if there are difficulties, don’t let your temper get the better of you.’ For this, he received a look that would have shrivelled many others.
    â€˜Come along and let us mount our noble steeds. Oh, and Merry Christmas, Hugo. I hope you have many hours of fun on your scooter. What are you going to call her?’
    â€˜Eh?’
    â€˜A name for her?’
    Hugo did not answer directly, but muttered that he’d never heard anything so ridiculous in his life as naming an inanimate everyday object, but he expected he’d oblige, and sooner rather than later, just to keep the peace.
    â€˜I’m going to call mine Red Rum because the original was such a successful racehorse,’ Lady A crowed.
    â€˜And it’s also ‘murder’ spelt backwards, which is probably what this will all end in.’ Hugo had taken to muttering under his breath when he was particularly tried by his old friend.
    The drive into Belchester was quite uneventful with the exception of Hugo rear-ending his leader a couple of times, but nothing serious. It really was still quite early, and Lady A kept what cars there were well away from them, through the liberal use of her horn, and waving her stick around on the right-hand side of her scooter. Hugo thought it was a miracle that they reached the city centre without mishap: her stick still in one piece, all her fingers intact, and her hand not torn from her wrist.
    â€˜What’s this all about, Manda?’ pleaded Hugo, happy to be pressed into service for the purposes of investigation, but not at all