Goat Pie Read Online Free Page A

hanging up.’
    â€˜Run and fetch it then. We’re going hunting. You and me.’
    â€˜Hunting? Uggsome!’ said Ulrik.
    When he returned his mum was spooning cold beans out of a can.
    â€˜Grumpa’s taking me hunting, Mum!’ said Ulrik.
    â€˜Hunting?’ said Mrs Troll, alarmed. ‘When was this decided?’
    â€˜I decided it just now,’ said Grumpa.
    â€˜But where are you going to hunt?’
    â€˜In the forest,’ replied Grumpa.
    â€˜Which forest, Grumpa?’ asked Ulrik.
    His mum gave him a meaningful look.
‘You know,
Ulrik – the forest I was telling Grumpa about in my letters. The one where we always go.’
    â€˜Oh,
that
forest,’ said Ulrik, nodding his head slowly. Now he understood. Grumpa thought there was a forest nearby where you could hunt goats, but actually there wasn’t. He tried to hide his disappointment. For a moment he had believed he was going on his first hunting trip.
    â€˜Why don’t you go tomorrow?’ Mrs Troll suggested. ‘I think it’s going to rain.’
    â€˜Hogswoggle!’ snorted Grumpa. ‘A tiddly spot ofrain won’t hurt us. I’ve been hunting when the snow’s up to my bellies.’

    â€˜Yes, but you don’t know the forest here,’ said Mrs Troll. ‘You might get lost.’
    â€˜I never get lost,’ said Grumpa, buttoning his goatskin coat. ‘Are you ready, Ulrik?’
    Ulrik straightened his hunting hat. ‘Ready.’
    Mrs Troll stood in the doorway, blocking theirpath. ‘At least wait for Egbert. You don’t even know the way.’
    Luckily Mr Troll came downstairs at that moment and Mrs Troll explained – with a great deal of eye-rolling – that Grumpa wanted to take Ulrik hunting in the forest.
    â€˜The forest?’ said Mr Troll, puzzled. ‘Which forest?’
    Ulrik could see they were going to have to go through the whole business all over again.
    â€˜You know, Dad, the one where we
always
go hunting.’
    Mr Troll looked blank.
    â€˜The one I told Grumpa about in my letters, Eggy,’ said Mrs Troll, attempting to wink and roll her eyes at the same time.
    â€˜Oh,
that
forest!’ said Mr Troll, finally remembering. ‘But they can’t go there. Haven’t you told him yet?’
    It was Mrs Troll’s turn to look blank. ‘Told him what?’
    â€˜About the goblins!’
    â€˜Goblins?’ said Grumpa. ‘What are you blethering about?’
    â€˜Goblins as big as bears,’ said Mr Troll.
    â€˜Yes! Terrible, scaresome goblins,’ said Mrs Troll, catching on. ‘They live underground.’
    â€˜They jump out and bite your toeses and won’t let go.’
    Grumpa stared at them both. ‘I’ve never heard such a pile of cow-patties,’ he said. ‘Come on, Ulrik, we’re going.’ He opened the front door and strode down the path, with Ulrik trying to keep up. Mr and Mrs Troll exchanged worried looks and hurried after them.
    At the gate Grumpa halted and looked left and right. ‘Which way?’ he demanded.
    Mr Troll hesitated. ‘Um … well, that depends …’
    â€˜Which way to the forest? It’s a simple question!’
    â€˜Not really …’
    Like most trolls Grumpa had very little patience – he had been scowling and grinding his fangs for some time, which was a sure sign that his temper was about to explode.
    â€˜Oh, for UGGNESS’ SAKE!’ he roared. ‘I’ll ask in here – maybe they talk some sense!’
    With that he turned into the Priddles’ drivewayand to the Trolls’ horror marched up to the front door. Ulrik glanced back and saw his mum and dad, signalling to him frantically to do something. But what could he do? Grumpa was already hammering on the door with his fist.
    Ulrik wondered how his mum and dad were going to explain this. The whole thing was getting very complicated.