Geek Fantasy Novel Read Online Free Page B

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    The titan’s leaves permitted little sunlight, so Cecil had to turn on his headlights as they approached the center of the vale. The old car grumbled through the dim quiet, the only sound of their passage the squeaks the car’s tires made on the gravel, the pawfalls of small fleeing mammals, and periodic sniffles that might have been produced either by the radiator or by Beatrice.
    “You live
here?”
Ralph asked.
    It was on Beatrice’s third snort of the day that they pulled into the driveway before the huge, crumbling castle. Cecil wedged his car between two matching Mercedes. Beatrice threw herself out of the hatchback, then Cecil and Ralph eased over the gearshift and followed her. By the time Ralph got to his feet, Beatrice and Cecil were almost at the front door. “Hey!” Ralph called. “Wait a sec. I need to get my bag.”
    Cecil looked back, startled. “I’m sure there’s a footman on duty, or something.”
    “That’s okay. I want to get it,” Ralph said.
    Cecil stood paralyzed until Beatrice plucked his keys from his hand and hurled them at Ralph. They landed on the gravel a few paces away. “You’re staying in the gatehouse. Silver key,” Cecil called. The last Ralph saw of himwas a large finger silhouetted in a hallway window, pointing in the direction of the giant tree.
    “Thanks!” Ralph yelled.
    Ralph re-opened the hatchback. The tidy wheeze of the pneumatics was so like that of his parents’ little car that he suddenly missed them. But once he heaved his old duffel out of the back and heard it hit the pure white gravel of the driveway, once the movement of slinging it over his back made him look up and take in the oddly-shaped manor and the monumental tree and the vale around it, Ralph was charged by the adventure of his new situation. What was this side of the family about? Where did his own room lie? He would make this a grand adventure better than any MonoMyth had ever conceived.
    Ralph’s duffel was heavy and unevenly stuffed; when he moved toward the tree, he staggered. His building was a stone-walled affair, only modestly immodest compared to the stained-glass excesses of the castle. Though it was a separate structure, with two stories and painted wooden shutters, he couldn’t determine why it would be called the gatehouse, as that would seem to imply it protected a boundary — but there was no gate or fence. The only thing the gatehouse could possibly defend the castle from was the tree itself.
    The silver key slid in and the door swung open under Ralph’s hand. The interior was sparely furnished, sporting only a wide wool rug, a sleigh bed, a large mirror, and an expansive fireplace. The first thing Ralph did was to place his pet rock Jeremiah under his mattress (he befriended any rocks that he considered neat looking). He then proceeded to unpack the rest of his belongings, which speak quite well for themselves:
    (1) Four-color Pen
    (2) Rubik’s Cubes
    (1) Sound Effects CD
    (1) Petri Dish
    (1) Dress Shirt
    (1) Magnifying Glass
    (8) Gaming Books
    (1) Set of High Elf Figurines
    (3) (!) Slinkys
    (1) Universal Remote Control
    (1) Laser Pointer
    (1) Flashlight
    (3) T-shirts with Computer Puns
    (3) Identical Black T-shirts
    (1) Pair of Stonewashed Jeans
    (1) Pair of Loafers
    (1) Set of Day-of-the-Week Underwear
    (2) Laptops
    (1) Novelization of
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
    As he finished unpacking and hung his shirts up in the closet, trying to shake out wrinkles as he did, he felt the gloom of the massive tree weighing on him. He soon fled its twilight and headed across a patio to the main castle. Gert was waiting in the foyer, staring at him through a warped glass window.
    “Let me give you a tour,” she offered.
    “Thank you.”
    “I am so glad that you’ve come to stay with us,” she said as they processed down a hallway, her hard-soled shoes resounding on the stone floor. “We’re all going to have such a marvelous time. Usually we summer abroad, and