Gabriel Read Online Free Page B

taking a long walk
    Mahler scored five of those poems
    In 1901 and 1904 for a vocalist
    And an orchestra to break your heart
    As soon as I heard the plaintive oboe
    And the descending movement of the horn
    And the lyric baritone entering
    I felt I should not be listening
    To Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau singing
    Kindertotenlieder
with the Berlin Philharmonic
    Mahler’s wife was superstitious
    And thought he was chancing disaster
    With
Songs on the Death of Children
    Now the sun wants to rise so brightly
    As if nothing terrible had happened overnight
    The tragedy happened to me alone
    Mahler knew he could never have written them
    After his four-year-old daughter died
    From scarlet fever three years later
    He said he felt sorry for himself
    That he needed to write these songs
    And for the world that would listen to them
    Mallarmé was left in fragments
    And could not right it
    After his adored Anatole
    His exquisite second born
    His future prospects
    A celestial soul
    Succumbed to rheumatic fever
    Treacherous blow of death
    Ridiculous enemy
    Ailing in springtime
    Mourned in winter
    His eight-year-old was lodged
    In a little cemetery
    Overlooking the Seine
    Where skaters glided by at Christmas
    And barges froze in the canals
    And the moon eclipsed
    His future projects
    Hugo could speak of his daughter’s death
    Hugo was happy to be able to speak
    Of his daughter’s death
    But it was impossible for Mallarmé
    Though year after year
    He labored at a tomb for Anatole
    Which he could never complete
    An immortality made human
    An offering to the absolute
    With his son
    Transposed by death
    Mallarmé was left with fragments
    He came by my office for cash
    Every Monday Wednesday and Friday
    I was good for thirty bucks a pop sometimes more
    You only drop by when you want your money
    I said but he protested
it’s not like that Dad
    He didn’t like to think of himself that way
    I was usually working at the computer
    When he strolled in
    Dad you’re the sort of person
    Who needs to work a lot
    I’m the sort of person
    Who needs a lot of down time
    He wasn’t doing anything all day long
    He just slept in and hung with his friends
    And so I tried to convince him to volunteer
    For an organization he was contemptuous
    He thought volunteering was for stooges
    He didn’t like charities either
    He told his friends he had once
    Attended a six-month training program
    In audio production at EWF
    He had some skills using Pro Tools
    And Reason software he had major skills
    In DJing and music production
    He told my friends he was going back to school
    To finish up his degree in marketing
    At the University of Massachusetts
    He just needed a few more credits
    To collect his diploma
    Maybe next summer
    From the playbook
    Say you get caught lifting eighty bucks
    Out of your dad’s wallet or your mom’s purse
    Simply deny it deny everything
    Never take responsibility for what
    You could not possibly have done
    The strategy for getting what you want
    When you want it is simple
    Never take
no
for an answer
    Pump up the volume
    Remember that
no
is not an option
    It is just a temporary setback
    He wanted us to buy him a bicycle
    So he could deliver specialty donuts and ice cream
    Concoctions at night in Hell’s Kitchen
    It was a scheme we refused
    He found an old girl’s bicycle on the side
    Of the street and fixed it up for twenty bucks
    Take that parents
    He never used the bike because the shop
    Didn’t bother to call him back Janet still has it
    He was determined to get his own apartment
    And certain that epilepsy qualified him
    For a free apartment from the city
    Otherwise he could move in with Tamar
    Her dad would get her an apartment as soon
    As she went back to school full time
    He was finally accepted for Job Path
    He could make some real dough at last
    And get an apartment after Labor Day
    I stood at the damaged site
    Across the street from my house
    And watched a steel ball
    Crashing into the homeless shelter
    Abandoned on Dean Street
    All