Froggy Style Read Online Free Page B
Author: J.A. Kazimer
chuckled.
Not a good sign.
“Waitress,” I called to a bare-chested fairy carrying a tray of pink umbrella drinks. “Another round.”
She gave me the finger.
Our drinks arrived a half hour later. I glanced at RJ, ready to duck or cover depending on his mood. He took a sip from his mug of beer and set it down on the table, so I ventured a question. “What brings you to Cin City?”
His snort was loud enough for the stripper on stage, dressed in a Little Miss Muffet costume, to pause mid-grind, her face, along with other parts of her anatomy, pinched. “Some stupid wedding,” RJ said. “One of Asia’s cousins is getting married in a couple of days.”
“Ten days.”
RJ tilted his head, his eyes boring into mine. “What?”
I exhaled loudly. “The wedding is in ten days.” I squinted at my watch. The numbers floated around, finally settling on 2:34 a.m. “Oops. Nine days.”
RJ let out a bark of laughter. “You!” He pointed at me with two equally fuzzy fingers. “You’re getting married. What poor princess sank so low as to marry the likes of you?”
“You don’t know her,” I said quickly. Much too quickly.
“Spill or I’ll punch you.” He grinned. “Again.”
I tried to roll my eyes, but they had taken on a will of their own. “Fine. Her name’s Beauty.”
His smile widened. “As in Sleeping Beauty? The chick who fell asleep at Baby Bear’s Coming Out Ball? The one they had to wake up with a hose? That Beauty?”
My face flushed with embarrassment and alcohol. Beauty wasn’t that bad, or so I told myself for the twentieth time today. So she had a bit of an attitude and slept a lot. Big deal. I wasn’t Prince Fucking Charming either. Besides, I needed her to break my curse. I drunkenly slurred the whole sordid tale to RJ, from the day Elly foretold of the curse to my not-so-happy meeting with my future wife and my impending nuptials. Like an annoying cricket, my conscience, the unpickled part, screamed “shut up,” but I was too far gone to heed the desperate warning.
But rather than laugh in my face as I expected, a warm glint entered RJ’s eyes, which in hindsight was a bad sign. “Happily ever after, you say?”
I nodded, resigned to living out the rest of my days with my bitch of a bride. “Till death do us part.”
“How about another drink?” RJ flagged down our waitress and ordered another round.
Chapter 5
T he next afternoon, I awoke in the bathtub of my hotel suite, a bathtub brimming with ice, having no recollection of how I’d gotten there. Chills racked my naked body. My teeth chattered. My stomach rolled. And my head felt like Mary’s Little Lamb after being sheared.
I was too old for this party-like-a-prince lifestyle. I shifted in the tub. Water and ice sloshed over the side and onto the marble floor. A pain exploded in my lower back. A pain so intense I screamed like a witch during a sponge bath. With shaking hands, I staggered from the tub and flopped on the floor. Vomit crawled up my throat.
Closing my eyes, I prayed for death. The pain in my back increased. I moaned. Groaned. And cried just a little.
All in a manly sort of way.
What the hell had happened last night? My mind flashed to the old fairy legend about a man who woke up in a very similar situation in a very similar city with one less kidney. This is bad, I thought. The last thing I remembered from the night before was RJ’s face floating over me, an evil smile on his lips. Was it possible? Had RJ taken his revenge in the form of my kidney?
When the waves of nausea passed, I opened my eyes and glanced around the water-soaked bathroom. A Post-it note hung on the elongated mirror. I squinted at the block letters.
It read: Now we’re even.
Two hours later, after a brief nap, a pot of coffee, and a bowl of pease porridge, lukewarm, mixed with a hearty dose of ketchup, I felt much more like myself. Of course, I looked more like something the farmer had left in the dell. Bags circled my
Not a good sign.
“Waitress,” I called to a bare-chested fairy carrying a tray of pink umbrella drinks. “Another round.”
She gave me the finger.
Our drinks arrived a half hour later. I glanced at RJ, ready to duck or cover depending on his mood. He took a sip from his mug of beer and set it down on the table, so I ventured a question. “What brings you to Cin City?”
His snort was loud enough for the stripper on stage, dressed in a Little Miss Muffet costume, to pause mid-grind, her face, along with other parts of her anatomy, pinched. “Some stupid wedding,” RJ said. “One of Asia’s cousins is getting married in a couple of days.”
“Ten days.”
RJ tilted his head, his eyes boring into mine. “What?”
I exhaled loudly. “The wedding is in ten days.” I squinted at my watch. The numbers floated around, finally settling on 2:34 a.m. “Oops. Nine days.”
RJ let out a bark of laughter. “You!” He pointed at me with two equally fuzzy fingers. “You’re getting married. What poor princess sank so low as to marry the likes of you?”
“You don’t know her,” I said quickly. Much too quickly.
“Spill or I’ll punch you.” He grinned. “Again.”
I tried to roll my eyes, but they had taken on a will of their own. “Fine. Her name’s Beauty.”
His smile widened. “As in Sleeping Beauty? The chick who fell asleep at Baby Bear’s Coming Out Ball? The one they had to wake up with a hose? That Beauty?”
My face flushed with embarrassment and alcohol. Beauty wasn’t that bad, or so I told myself for the twentieth time today. So she had a bit of an attitude and slept a lot. Big deal. I wasn’t Prince Fucking Charming either. Besides, I needed her to break my curse. I drunkenly slurred the whole sordid tale to RJ, from the day Elly foretold of the curse to my not-so-happy meeting with my future wife and my impending nuptials. Like an annoying cricket, my conscience, the unpickled part, screamed “shut up,” but I was too far gone to heed the desperate warning.
But rather than laugh in my face as I expected, a warm glint entered RJ’s eyes, which in hindsight was a bad sign. “Happily ever after, you say?”
I nodded, resigned to living out the rest of my days with my bitch of a bride. “Till death do us part.”
“How about another drink?” RJ flagged down our waitress and ordered another round.
Chapter 5
T he next afternoon, I awoke in the bathtub of my hotel suite, a bathtub brimming with ice, having no recollection of how I’d gotten there. Chills racked my naked body. My teeth chattered. My stomach rolled. And my head felt like Mary’s Little Lamb after being sheared.
I was too old for this party-like-a-prince lifestyle. I shifted in the tub. Water and ice sloshed over the side and onto the marble floor. A pain exploded in my lower back. A pain so intense I screamed like a witch during a sponge bath. With shaking hands, I staggered from the tub and flopped on the floor. Vomit crawled up my throat.
Closing my eyes, I prayed for death. The pain in my back increased. I moaned. Groaned. And cried just a little.
All in a manly sort of way.
What the hell had happened last night? My mind flashed to the old fairy legend about a man who woke up in a very similar situation in a very similar city with one less kidney. This is bad, I thought. The last thing I remembered from the night before was RJ’s face floating over me, an evil smile on his lips. Was it possible? Had RJ taken his revenge in the form of my kidney?
When the waves of nausea passed, I opened my eyes and glanced around the water-soaked bathroom. A Post-it note hung on the elongated mirror. I squinted at the block letters.
It read: Now we’re even.
Two hours later, after a brief nap, a pot of coffee, and a bowl of pease porridge, lukewarm, mixed with a hearty dose of ketchup, I felt much more like myself. Of course, I looked more like something the farmer had left in the dell. Bags circled my
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