Freed Read Online Free Page A

back. That honest desire.
    “No,” she agreed. “I’m slowly coming to realize that.” She took a deep breath. “I bet you regret bidding on me.” Her voice was rueful. “The auction had so many other girls that weren’t carrying so much baggage. Susan, for example, had quite the crush on you. She would have made a great submissive.”
    I didn’t have a choice on whether to bid on her and it wasn’t Lori’s request that had made the decision for me. The instant I had looked into her green eyes, my options had been stripped away. I had to seize the second chance. “Susan? Is that what you think?” I responded instead.
    “I’m surprised you even know who Susan is.”
    “There were fifteen women in that room. Susan’s attended three times.”
    She stiffened slightly under me. “If you were interested enough to know that, why didn’t you bid on her?”
    She was jealous? I couldn’t help a small grin at that thought. If I were being perfectly honest, my answer would have been - Because you were there, bright star. And everyone else just faded to the background.
    I gave her a different answer but one that was just as true as the first one. “Because she had stars in her eyes when she looked at me. I don’t get involved and I don’t toy with people’s feelings. Susan is the kind of woman that would fall in love and that would be pointless and futile.”
    She pulled away. Her eyes were lowered and her expression hidden from me. “You like playing the field then? Variety is the spice of life? Why have one woman when you can have many?”
    There was a note of judgement in her voice and it stung. I shouldn’t have cared. If she wanted to believe the worst of me, perhaps I should have just let her. But two years ago, I hadn’t been able to lie to her about the way I felt, and it was the same now. I was lying through my teeth about facts, but the underlying emotions? There could be no subterfuge there. Not with her. Not from the first moment I met her.
    I took a deep inward breath. “No,” I said. If Jean-Luc could have heard my next words, he would have punched me in the face for endangering our mission and I would have deserved it. “Do you ever have a goal in life that’s so important that everything else must fall by the wayside, lest it distract you from your purpose?”
    From the way she stiffened next to me, I could tell my words had resonated. I would have paused to inquire why, but once the dam had burst, the words poured out. It was as if my soul needed to explain that no, I didn’t need an unending line of women to be entertained. I was human. I yearned for love and companionship as much as the next person. Given the loneliness of my childhood, possibly a lot more than the next person. But I couldn’t allow myself the luxury of straying from my path.
    “Three months is all I can permit myself,” I said. “So I pick women who are aligned with that. Susan would not have been able to walk away at the end with ease. I am many things, but I am not cruel.”
    “So the submissives you’ve bid on in the past, they didn’t fall in love with you?”
    I gave her a wry look. “Am I supposed to believe that I am that irresistible? That three months with me and every woman will automatically fall in love?” I shook my head. “Whitney wanted the money so she could one day start her own fashion house. Emma grew up as an orphan in Belarus before she was adopted by a couple in Iowa. She wanted to fund services for children in her country of birth.”
    She chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully. “Susan was surprised that Madame Lorraine had allowed me to participate in the auction. She thought my desperation over Alicia would make me blindly agree to whatever you wanted, ignoring my own desires.”
    “To some degree, money impacts everyone’s ability to freely consent,” I replied. “Susan is wealthy in her own right, so she sees the issue in black and white. But both Emma and Whitney were passionate