Fourth Bear Read Online Free Page A

sometimes didn’t sit well with higher authority. “I’ll tell you why. Remember that time you sneezed on her?”
     
    “It wasn’t just her.”
     
    “I know. It’s just that girls don’t really like that sort of thing.”
     
    Baker nodded slowly. He’d suspected for a while that they might not. Still, he never thought it really fair to have a girlfriend, since he had only six months to live. The thing was, he’d had only six months to live for over thirteen years now.
     
    “Hmm,” said Charlie, half to himself, “I think I need a doctor who’ll give me a year to live.”
     
     
     
    “Do you like it here?” asked Jack to Ashley. They were leaning on the car but still keeping a close lookout on the front of the house.
     
    “Here, in this street?”
     
    “No, Ashley, this planet.”
     
    “ Most agreeable,” replied Ashley happily. “The filing is excellent, the sitcoms top-notch and the bureaucracy to die for. But far and away the best feature is your digital mobile phone networks. We can taste the binary data stream in the air. It gives your cities a favorably congenial atmosphere—to you, something like the bouquet of a fine wine.”
     
     
     
    Mary was beginning to get a bit uncomfortable inside the closet, and she looked at her watch with increasing frequency, willing the hands to move faster so they could all go home. She shifted to get more comfortable, the door swung shut, and there was a soft click.
     
    “Blast!” she muttered as she gently pushed at the door. It was no good. It was shut fast.
     
     
     
    “Jack,” came Mary’s embarrassed voice over the walkie-talkie, “I’ve just locked myself in the closet and I can’t see the kitchen anymore. Can we abort?”
     
    Jack looked around. The street was empty and quiet. He had said they’d go to midnight, and he liked to be good to his word.
     
    “No,” he said to Mary over the radio as he walked through the garden gate.
     
    “Sir,” came Gretel’s voice over the airwaves, “it’s just a thought, but my mother told me never to hide in closets in case… I was locked in.”
     
    Jack looked around again. It had been quiet before, but now it seemed somehow even quieter. There was no distant hum of traffic, nothing. It was as though Cautionary Valley were suddenly an island, cast adrift from the rest of Reading and the world. He’d felt it before in the same place twenty-five years earlier. He shivered with the onset of a cold breeze, and his breath showed in the night air.
     
    He brought the radio to his mouth and whispered, “He’s here.”
     
    He signaled to Ashley to stay put, ran in a circuitous route to the front door and entered the house. When he opened the kitchen door, he stopped short, as there was a small conflagration on the kitchen table. The matches Conrad had been playing with had caught fire with an impossibly bright flame and were now rapidly burning a path up the table to where the boy sat, rooted to the spot with fear. They’d thought of this, and Jack killed the fire with a handy extinguisher, opened the closet door to let Mary out, then barked to Conrad, “The thumb—back in!”
     
    In his panic the boy had stopped sucking his thumb, but now he obediently did as he was told. No sooner was the thumb in when the back door was flung violently open, and before Jack and Mary could even blink, a wild-eyed figure in crimson trousers leaped in brandishing a giant pair of gold scissors. With expert precision the tips of the scissors closed around Conrad’s thumb, and the Scissor-man would doubtless have snipped it off and been gone again in a flash if Jack hadn’t shouted, “HOLD IT!”
     
    The Scissor-man froze. His bloodshot eyes darted toward Jack with a mixture of fear and insanity. He looked gaunt and pale, with an untidy shock of nicotine-stained hair; a tailor’s tape measure hung from the pocket of his bottle green jacket.
     
    “DCI Spratt,” continued Jack as he held up his ID,