don’t tell me…let me guess…the Bahamas? No. No. Paris. Am I right? I knew it. Where in the city are you staying? Let me set you up at the Shangri-La. It’s this converted palace by the river. Used to belong to a nephew of Napoleon’s.”
“I…I’m reading a biography about Napoleon.”
“See? There you go.”
Crystal returned, fully dressed.
Meanwhile, the movie had segued into the helicopter-battle sequence. Wilkerson paused until after the whirring of the helicopter blades and the
rat-a-tat-tat
of machine-gun fire subsided before concluding, “So let’s get you back to your original room and I’ll clean up in here and tomorrow we’ll have a pleasant breakfast and then I’ll drive you to the airport. How’s that sound?”
“Sounds good to me,” said Scott.
“I just have one question,” said Crystal.
Scott glared
Why?
at his wife.
Crystal glared
Because!
at her husband.
Scott backed down. He knew enough not to argue with
Because!
She asked Wilkerson her question: “Why did the Serendipity Group target you?”
“I told you. Because they’re lunatics.”
“No, you said they went after people who ‘victimized.’ Why did they think you victimized this guy?”
“Because they’re lunatics.” His smile was a smear of paste. “Why? Did he say something?”
“He said you were a thief. He was going to chop off your hands with a saw. Except they weren’t your hands. They were my husband’s hands. And that’s the other part I don’t understand.”
“Oh?” Wilkerson unscrewed the sound suppressor and pocketed it. “How so?”
“You knew he was coming here. Why not just wait in the other room? Why go through the trouble of stealing a uniform and pretending to be room service? He was in here for a while by the time you showed up. Scott and I could have been dead by the time you arrived.”
“I came here as fast as I could. And do you see the uniform I snagged? I haven’t worn anything this ill fitting since I was going through puberty. I look like I’m still going through puberty. Check out these cuffs. They’re practically up to my elbows.”
Now Scott, finally on board with Crystal’s reasoning, chimed in, “You’re missing the point. We could have been
dead
.”
“But you’re not.”
“Here’s what I think,” said Crystal. “I think you sent us up here to be your bait but you didn’t know how many people would actually be coming to get us and you didn’t know if they’d have knives or guns—”
“—or saws—”
“—or saws. I think when you came up here and you knocked on the door, you weren’t sure what you were going to find. So you gave yourself an out. If the door opened and there were seven ninjas in here, you could have just walked away. You’re wearing a uniform. They wouldn’t risk killing someone who might be missed. I think what that guy said about you is true. You’re nothing but a thief.”
Wilkerson’s smile didn’t falter. “So you don’t want to stay at the Shangri-La?”
“Well…” said Scott.
“No,” said Crystal. “Thank you.”
“Wow.” Wilkerson sighed, tucked the gun into the back of his slacks, and shook his head. “I might be a thief, but you’re just stupid. No, worse than stupid. Naive. You think I’m the bad guy? Do I look like a lunatic with a hacksaw? Do I look like a—”
Knock, knock, knock
.
“Oh for the love of God,” muttered Scott.
But Wilkerson was already making his way to the door. “Relax. It’s just our alibi. The TV, remember? Whoever is here to complain will confirm our TV is on too loud and any possibility of actual gunshots will be
ohwhatthefuck
!”
Because he had a hacksaw embedded in his right calf.
Because the itty-bitty psycho was still alive. Well, alive enough.
Alive enough for revenge.
Wilkerson bent down to remove the hacksaw. The movement must have thrown him off-balance. He tumbled forward.
Whereupon the itty-bitty psycho removed the hacksaw.
Repositioned it along