Forget Me Not Read Online Free Page B

it
    the way some people
    need heroin.

I’M DEFINITELY
    not going to English class.
    Brianna is there.
    Might as well skip PE, too.
    And dance team practice is out.
    Looks like I will spend
    the whole day on the hallway.
    Watching other kids,
    wondering if their lives are
    hopeless and screwed up like mine.

THE FINAL BELL RINGS
    I stand to leave, but out on
    the balcony I
    see Darla Johnson pacing.
    Is she waiting there for me?
    She walks back and forth,
    cocks her head, struts, preens. Looks through
    the window. At me?
    She’s the hawk on the sidewalk.
    I’m the sparrow in the bush.
    I sit back down and
    instantly understand what
    it feels like to know
    you will soon be plucked apart
    and eaten alive. Will she
    leave my heart on the
    sidewalk with the old, dry gum—
    black spot on the quad—
    or will she save it for her
    dessert? I look at the clock.
    My bus will soon be
    leaving, but I suddenly
    don’t want to go home.
    My feet are glued to the floor.
    I cannot leave the hallway.

DAVIS WALKS OUT
    and Darla kisses his cheek.
    He smiles and puts
    his arm around her waist.
    He doesn’t look miserable
    and unhappy.
    She was waiting for him,
    not me.
    To her I am dead.
    To him I am dead.
    It doesn’t matter.
    I’ve decided.
    I’m
    never
    ever
    ever
    going to leave
    the hallway.

PART FOUR
T   H   E     V   I   E   W
F   R        M
T   H   E     R             F
Elijah

THE FAB
    You can get to the roof of the FAB
    by way of a fire ladder left from the days
    when the building was a dormitory.
    Or you can go inside the building,
    find the unmarked door by the janitor’s closet,
    and just walk up to the top. The door is
    supposed to be locked, but the knob is old
    and rusted and it doesn’t take much
    to push your way through.
    Bri and I opt for number two.
    We don’t talk about it, we just walk
    in silence to the FAB
    when we hear the last bell ring.
    When we get up on top, I look around
    for hidden surveillance cameras. There
    aren’t any, but I do see smashed beer cans,
    a broken bong, and assorted condom wrappers.
    I go to the edge and look down
    at the yellow tape,
    wondering why it’s there,
    when the real tragedy
    happened up here on the roof.
    I smell something burning
    and turn to see Bri sitting
    by a metal box, lighting a cigarette.
    “When did you start smoking?”
    “What does it matter?”
    “Seems like a strange habit for a health nut.”
    “Just because I don’t want to consume
    the rotting carcasses of dead animals
    doesn’t mean I’m a health nut.”
    As if to emphasize her point, she
    picks up a tequila bottle and drinks
    the dregs. She tries to look tough,
    but her hand is trembling.
    “We should have done something,”
    I say, looking back at the quad,
    where half the kids are scurrying to
    buses. The other half don’t seem to be
    in a hurry to leave. After all, this is where
    the social scene is going down.
    “What could we have done?”
    “I don’t know. We should have been there for her.”
    “I’m not the one who dumped my best friend to become a
    Ravenette.”
    “Were you jealous of her?”
    “Not anymore.”
    She flicks her cigarette away
    and joins me at the edge of the roof,
    looking down at the yellow tape.
    “There isn’t a lot of room at the top,
    and the farther up you go, the more
    you have to decide which friends
    you’re gonna leave behind. I didn’t
    bail on her. She bailed on me.”
    She turns and looks at me.
    “For that matter, so did you.”
    I take a step back.
    “You were better off without me.
    I was pretty messed up after Frankie died.”
    Bri shrugs. “You dumped your friends
    to be pathetic and depressed. I’ll give Ally credit.
    At least she did it for popularity.”

BRIANNA LEAVES
    and I sit down on the ledge to
    think about what she said
    as I watch kids scurry
    to and fro.
    A fight breaks out
    near Vo-Tech.
    Two girls make out
    secretly.
    A dead boy stands
    yelling in the midst
    of it all, and nobody
    sees him