Forever the Fat Kid: How I Survived Dysfunction, Depression and Life in the Theater Read Online Free Page B

Forever the Fat Kid: How I Survived Dysfunction, Depression and Life in the Theater
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as strangers constantly stopped us to “ooh and ahh” over her. I never introduced her as my niece; I’d tell them that she was my little sister.
    One day while talking on the phone, Annette let it slip to my mother that she would leave her kids in my care. It’s a miracle Annette didn’t go deaf in one ear after my mother’s panicked reaction.
    “Are you crazy?! You leave them with Michael?! He ain’t nothin’ but a child himself!” But both she and Annette knew that not only was I more responsible than most other eight-year-olds, I was also protective of my younger nieces and nephew; they were in good hands with me. Fact is, I loved those kids and would have done anything in my power, however limited it might have been, to see that nothing happened to them. Anyway, nothing changed as a result of my mother’s response. As a matter-of-fact, now that it was out in the open, Annette did it more often. My mother had to just get over it.
    THE DISCOVERIES CONTINUE
    As I grew older, and my awareness of the world began to extend beyond my own childhood dramas, certain facts about those I was surrounded by on a daily basis–my immediate family, as it were–began coming to light. One such discovery was my father’s alcoholism. Of course, in my family’s social circles, heavy drinking on a regular basis wasn’t such a bad thing. Hell, back then, how wasted one got was often the measure of how good a time they had. The worse the hangover, the better the party must have been. Almost all of the adult men that I remember growing up around loved to drink. However, my father took it to extreme.
    For all of the wonderful memories that I have of my father–and there are many–I have almost as many unpleasant ones, most related to his drinking. Among the best times were our trips to Shea Stadium to see the Mets play baseball, or our long car rides together where he was forced to listen to me sing all of my favorite songs acappella (!) from beginning to end–and enjoy it. On occasion we’d spend evenings together with a bowl of Jiffy Pop popcorn between us, while watching one of my favorite television shows. Among the worst–seeing him stagger into the house at all hours of the night, or waking up to find him passed out on the living room floor. Worse than that were the times when he didn’t pass out, but would become arrogant and argumentative. For some reason, the holidays seemed to bring out the Dr Jekyll in his normally Mr. Hyde personality. Sadly, for all of us, he missed out on many special family occasions and gatherings.
    TELEVISION DEBUT
    The hottest kid’s show on TV when I was growing up was Wonderama. Annette knew that I wanted more than anything to be on that Sunday morning kid’s show, so she set out to secure tickets. She assured me that I was a shoo-in to win the dance contest they had each week, the grand prize of which was a brand new bike. As she told me, “You’ll win that contest easy because first of all, you can dance. Second, you look white.” Despite the fact that there were some kick-ass “Negro” children on the show who danced their little behinds off, the grand prize–the bike–always seemed to go to a white child. She sent a number of letters to the television station to get tickets, but somehow all of her requests went unanswered. However, not being one to give up easily, she moved on to Plan B.
    The hottest children’s show in Philadelphia, where she lived, was The Happy the Clown Show. And Annette did manage to get me, and Tina, on The Happy the Clown Show. No, it wasn’t Wonderama, but it was a close second. The Happy the Clown Show aired live and I’m sure none of the shows were saved to video. Hence, my first television appearance is lost forever. That auspicious debut did leave two memorable impressions on my young mind. First, of the six or seven children who appeared on the show that day, I was the one selected to play the cartoon game! This was a highlight of the show, not

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