First Vision of Destiny - Alicia Read Online Free Page B

eyes, wide and
round, snapped up to her face. His mouth opened and closed again
without a sound. She waited for him to find his voice again. “You…
what?”
    Very slowly, she turned her left hand over,
exposing the inside of her wrist and the marks there. She kept her
eyes on Ben, and could not miss the way his gaze dropped to her
hand on the countertop. His eyes narrowed. For just a second, she
thought she could see the doctor in him, examining a wound,
evaluating its severity. In the past weeks, she had often expected
him to notice. She had been surprised he hadn’t. It had only added
to her overall depression.
    “I’ve been going for three months,” she said,
and wondered if he would hear the pain in her words that he had
never noticed.
    His brow furrowed. “Three months…”
    She could see the moment he made the
connection. “When you took that new position, yes. You were so
stressed, and so busy, we weren’t talking like we used to and…” At
his deepening frown, she shook her head. She hadn’t meant to blame
him for this. It was coming out all wrong. “No, I don’t mean… I
know your job is demanding, and I’m proud of you. Of what you do.
But I’ve been feeling like…” She clutched at elusive words. She had
to explain, she had to make him understand, but she could barely
explain it all to herself. “Like I didn’t know how to reach you
anymore. I felt… I don’t know, a bit lost. Lonely.”
    He mouthed that last word soundlessly. His
eyes dropped again to her exposed wrist, and Alicia fought with
herself not to hide it and the glaring proof of her malaise.
    “You could have been killed.” His words came
out slowly at first, as though he had to push them past a knot in
his throat. Soon, though, he was speaking faster, his voice filled
with fear. “Vampires are killers! Every week someone is brought to
my E.R. because they trusted a vampire! Even in blood bars—”
    “I know, Ben,” she said, raising her hand in
a calming gesture. “I know.”
    They had had this same conversation just two
weeks after they had started dating when he had first noticed the
scars she hid so well.
    “And you did it anyway.” His eyes searched
her, as though trying to understand. After a few seconds, he shook
his head slowly and asked, his voice a mere whisper, “Why?”
    He had asked back then too, but she hadn’t
been able to give him an answer, instead hiding behind claims that
this was no different from the experimenting they had all done in
college with alcohol, sex, and cigarettes. It didn’t occur to her
to lie this time. “For the same reason I used to do it before we
started dating.” She swallowed hard and dived in. “To feel like
someone depended on me. Needed me. Wanted me more than anything. He
made me feel like I used to feel when I was with you. Like I want
to feel again.”
    Ben had been leaning forward over the island.
At her words, he slowly moved back, finally slipping off the stool
and standing. Alicia’s heart leapt in her throat when he took a few
steps toward the door and she thought he would leave, but he
stopped and turned back to her. “He?” he said, almost choking on
the word. “So… it’s just the one vampire, then? Are you telling
me…” He passed a hand through his hair again, the gesture familiar
and a clear sign he was troubled. “Did you… did you sleep with
him?”
    Alicia was shaking her head before he even
finished. “No,” she said, then repeated just a little louder, “No.
It was always just about the bite.”
    Hands now buried in his pockets, Ben seemed
to be hesitating between stepping toward her and moving back again.
Clutching the edge of the island, Alicia stood and took a small
step toward him. Before she could take a second, he asked, “Do you
love him?”
    “ No.” She had not expected him to ask this.
Even so, the answer came without hesitation, for which she was
grateful. She didn’t want him to have the slightest doubt that she
was