Fire with Fire (Crash and Burn, Book 3) (A Military Romance) Read Online Free Page A

despite my compulsion to keep hounding them both to talk to me.
    I’ve never felt so alone in my life.
    A deep-down fragile part of my heart also wonders if overhearing what happened between me and Christina’s boyfriend turned him off, pushed him away. Maybe Cole is keeping me at arm’s length now because learning about this shameful part of my past made him realize he’s not as into me as he thought he was. That I’m not the person he believed me to be.
    I don’t want to think he’d judge me like that, not after all the things we’ve shared with each other over the years. But the prolonged silence makes me wonder. And I can’t get him to engage me in a conversation in order to find my courage to ask him about it.
    I shove away my building anxiety and flip through the half-dozen bids we received for the hundredth time, forcing myself to focus on the task at hand. This ache in my chest has been present for a week now, and I just have to learn to work around it.
    God, I miss Cole so badly I want to cry. I miss his broad smile, I miss the way he touches me, I miss how he always listens. I haven’t been the friend to him lately that I should be. No, I can’t fix this stuff with Christina, not yet, but maybe there’s hope I can repair the damage with him.
    I need to stop being scared and go talk to him. My heart throbs hard, and I swallow down my sudden rush of anxiety. It’ll be fine. Deep down, Cole’s a reasonable person. And if he is judging me for something bad I did in my past that had nothing to do with him…well, that tells me a lot about his character, doesn’t it?
    But I can’t sit here and do nothing, or I’m going to lose my best friend.
    It’s just after lunchtime. The bar crowd should be a bit slower right now. Decision made, I gather the bids and stuff them into a folder. My hands only tremble the slightest bit, and I smooth down the front of my skirt as I stand.
    My stomach is a crowd of butterflies, and my heart won’t stop hammering as I walk to Emme’s desk. “We’ve received all the bids for the Mickey’s Pub remodel, so I’m going to swing by and see if the client has a contractor preference. There are a couple I think would be perfect, but he might have his own feedback on it.” It’s a thin excuse to go see Cole; even I can hear that.
    To Emme’s credit, she doesn’t give me any kind of look. I know she saw how droopy and depressed I was last week at work. Frankly, she’s probably glad I’ll be getting out of the office. I’ve been putting in a lot of late hours each night to avoid going home.
    I can’t stop feeling Cole in my cold, empty bed, and it’s killing me. Sleep has not been my friend lately.
    “No problem,” Emme tells me smoothly. “Do you want me to call ahead and let them know you’re coming?”
    “Nah, I’ll handle it,” I say. “Thanks. I’ll be back in a bit.” My low black heels clack across the floor as I head to the elevator. Go down to the main level of the building, hop in my car.
    Grip the steering wheel and navigate my way to the bar.
    Traffic is light, so it doesn’t take me long to arrive. I find a parking spot near the front of the bar and pull in. The flock of butterflies in my stomach start whirling harder, and I draw in a few steadying breaths, staring at the brick façade of the building.
    What do I say to Cole? Will he look happy or disappointed to see me? God, I’m scared. I feel like everything is on the line right now, and I’m afraid to make it worse. I just don’t want this distance between us anymore. It’s been too many days of not speaking, and I gotta try something.
    I press my fingers to my belly, draw in more slow breaths, exhale until I’m not so light-headed. Then I grab my purse and the folder and head into the bar.
    Xander’s behind the massive wooden countertop, drawing a dark beer for a customer. The room has patrons scattered throughout at various tables, with a few sitting at the bar itself, nestled