Finding Me Read Online Free Page B

that makes my heart constrict with guilt.
    “But we could see Santa in person!” I tease in an attempt to brush away the awkwardness.
    Fitz smiles gratefully and then sifts through some papers. “Remember to tell Kitty today that you need to reschedule next Wednesday.”
     
    That afternoon, I pull up to Kitty’s and take a deep breath. I don’t know how she’ll react to me since I walked out on her last week. I can’t recall a time I’ve done something so blatantly rude, especially in a setting like this.
    My gloved hands wring as I wait for her to answer the door. I see her dark hair first, followed by her smile. It’s warm and inviting, an exact replica of the one she’s greeted me with previous weeks.
    “I think you may be in for your first Delaware snow,” she says, holding the door open.
    My body shivers from the contrast of her warm house to the cold air outside as I follow Kitty down the hall to her home office.
    “I’m sorry that I left.” The words fall from my mouth as I turn toward the couch. When she doesn’t immediately reply, I glance up to see her sitting in front of her desk once again, her green eyes bright and focused on me.
    “Are you sorry you left because you feel like you did something wrong? Or are you sorry you left because you’re ready to actually start talking about why you’re here?”
    “Because it was rude of me to have left like that.”
    “Harper, no one’s going to force you to discuss something you’re uncomfortable with here. With that being said, unless you’re willing to open up and actually discuss something with a little bit of substance, you’re never going to overcome the initial reason that brought you here.”
    “I just need some time. Everyone thinks I should be over things already, and I can’t. I’m not. I don’t work like that. I just need some time.”
    “Who’s everyone?”
    “Everyone!” I cry, waving an arm out to the empty room. “I just needed some space.”
    “From whom?”
    “Me … I think.” Kitty’s eyes are wide, but relaxed, conveying that she’s listening patiently to my words, not expecting me to go faster or reveal more than whatever I’m willing to give.
    I swallow audibly in the silence of the room and lower my gaze to the small fish tank that is a new addition.
    “Last spring things sort of fell apart for me. I was dating this guy, and I know that at twenty it’s naive to think you’ve met the love of your life, because really, there’s so much more of your life to live. And this world is so big. And there are so many people on it that if a soul mate truly does exist, it’s nearly impossible to say you’ll ever meet them, because how can you meet everyone on the planet? Unless you believe in fate or something like that, where if you’re destined to be together, you won’t have to go looking for them because your own destiny will make your paths cross. But again, you meet so many people it’s impossible to say when you meet that person if they’re really the one.” I let out a frustrated breath and shake my head slightly to clear the onslaught of long winded theoretical questions.
    “Sorry, I start thinking with my philosophical mind about this stuff lately, and it leads me to so many questions and possible answers that my head swims. It’s irrelevant.” I brush my hand in the air again, clearing my invisible words and confessions, and the gesture makes my heart throb as his face appears in my mind.
    It subsides slightly as I focus on a new pain. “My dad,” I swallow again as tears begin to swim in my eyes that watch my fingers pull at a loose thread on the cuff of my shirt, “he died.” I press my lips together and blink several times in an attempt to keep the tears at bay.
    I cling to the shards of anger her initial question sparked that still resonate within me, relying on them to dull the pain multiplying by the second. “In a few short weeks I lost them both. And then my mom started hanging out