Finding Cassie Crazy Read Online Free Page A

to be sorry about your name. That can’t be your fault, a thing like that. It would have to be the fault of your parents. Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with the name Lydia. I think it’s cute.
    Catch ya
    Seb Mantegna

    Dear Cassie
Eat shit and die, private school slag.
Yours faithfully
Matthew Dunlop

PART 7

LETTERS
FROM
ASHBURY

    TO CHARLES TAYLOR
    Dear Charles
    This is what Mr Botherit wrote up on the blackboard as a suggestion for our responses to the letters from your class.
    Try commenting on the letter! Was it: amusing?
interesting? Eg: ‘Thank you very much for your letter,
which was amusing.’
    So, Charles Taylor:
    Thank you very much for your letter, which was a BIG PILE OF CRAP.
    This is the LAST and FINAL and SUPERLATIVE letter you will ever get from me.
    The only reason I wrote to you in the first incidence was because I thought it was an assignment. I thought he was going to read the letters and give us feedback and incorporate the feedback into our assessment grades. And I am aiming to
come first in English this year so therefore I put A LOT of effort into that letter.
    Now it turns out that he meant it when he exclaimed that there would be full confidence for our respect. EXCUSE ME. Full respect for our confidence. (You see what you have done to my English? You’ve got it all twisted.)
    Anyway, I didn’t believe that for one millimetre, about having confidence in our respect, but he just gave exactly the same speech today. The arsehole.
    Plus my friend Lydia told me that she has already started up a drug trafficking scheme in her letters to your school, and she does not appear to me to have been arrested, so therefore it must be true: NOBODY IS READING THE LETTERS.
    Which brings me to the point: why would I keep writing to you? That seems to me like an incompetent waste of my time.
    And no, I do NOT want to write to your sister. How sexist of you to think that just because I like shopping it means that all girls like shopping and that’s the only thing girls talk about. My friends Lyd and Cass both HATE shopping, and guess what, they both happen to be girls. So you are therefore proved wrong.
    You are so old-fashioned you need EXIT MOULD sprayed under your arms.
    And furthermore, if you just imagine for one MOMENT that you might show anyone this letter, you’ll be face-to-face with a lawsuit so brutal you’ll never eat another chicken pie.
    And I think I have a few more connections in the legal world than you do.
    Ciao, Roma
    Emily Thompson
    PS There’s nothing wrong with the expression ‘Don’t get me started’. It’s expressive and humour filled. I can’t believe you think it’s incorrect to use that expression when a person has already got started. You don’t understand satire or irony or sarcasm or effectiveness. That’s Brookfield High all over, I guess.
    PPS AND YOU CAN TALK. ‘Just say the word.’ JUST SAY THE WORD? What kind of an expression is that? WHAT WORD WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SAY ANYWAY?
    MORON?

    Letter from Lydia Jaackson-Oberman to Seb Mantegna
    Dear Seb
    In one letter only you have blown my cover. You are right.
    I am no fish.
    Bravo, my friend, bravo.
    It was nice of you to say Happy Birthday, but I notice you didn’t send me any kind of gift. Are you one of those careful drug traffickers? I’ve heard about them. I don’t think they have a very good reputation. The way to break the law is to be really upfront and open about it. I know this because my dad’s a judge.
    I’m sorry, but my mum does not fly planes. She drinks a lot though, so she’s often flying. And she’s part owner of a film studio, which will cater to all your film needs: sound recording, editing, lighting and really bad TV commercials. Plus it has a great makeup studio, which is second on the right after the reception desk. Keep it in mind if you ever need a makeover.
    I have decided to tell you about the morning