Facing Redemption Read Online Free Page A

the pieces.  Unfortunately, I was shipped off to military school soon after. 
                  After leaving, it took me a few weeks to recognize what a monster I had become.  I want you to know I’m not that monster … not anymore - although I’m far from redemption.
                  At that point in life, I held so much anger inside.  Anger that my father dictated my every action, as it had been my whole life.  That anger was waiting to bubble over and take its toll, given the right circumstances. This by no means makes up for my actions or what I did to Kylie.  This is something I’ll regret my entire life.  
                  I don’t know if you’re aware of this or not, but my mother died when I was born.  Maybe this is another reason I have felt the disapproval from my father since my memory serves me.  Between his lack of care, and the guilt I’ve held of being the reason my mother died … let’s just say I wasn’t a great candidate for mental stability growing up. 
                  I am not writing these things to you to make excuses for my un-excusable actions.  I have only figured these things out just recently through counseling, and well, I guess I just thought it would help explain to you why I was - the way I was. 
                  I don’t expect you to understand overnight … or ever.  It’s taken me a long time to make sense of it all, and I guess I just wanted to reach out to you to let you know that I’m truly sorry.
                  Between my actions and my father’s, your life has not been easy.  Seeing you as a child, I ached knowing that my actions had caused your mother so much pain - and in retrospect you as well. 
                  I know my father became relentless in trying to find you both.  He was aging, and he knew I was desperate to know you.  I couldn’t believe I had a part of me out there and I wanted to find you – to know you. 
                  Initially I think my father was trying to make up to me for all the years he spent running our home like boot camp.  I know it’s not excuse on his part in his efforts to find Kylie, but he wanted to give me something back … some sort of family … finally.  He knew keeping me isolated from memories of my mother hurt me.  And it slowly dawned on him that you were a part of his Marilyn, my mother. It hit him pretty hard.  This was why he was almost desperate to find Kylie…to find you, a link to his wife and a part of the love they shared.
                  I made the worst mistake of my life with your mom and I’m sorry.  I just hope someday you can forgive me.   Thank you if you’ve made it this far in reading this letter. 
    Warmest Regards, John
     
    Chastity dropped the letter in her lap, and bent over crying.  How am I supposed to feel after this?  
    Chastity lifted her head and let out a curdling scream.  It was a scream that let out the anger she held for her father … her anger at herself … and her sorrow for her mom.  As exhausting as it was, she needed to let go and feel it. 
                  It was supposed to make her feel better to vent – to scream, but soon the realization hit that it didn’t. Chastity was kicking herself for breaking her promise and not just for reading the letter, but also for allowing it to get to her.
                  Through her tears, she crumpled the letter up, and shoved it back down into her desk.  After slamming the drawer shut, she did the only thing she could – pick up her Garganega and uncorked the bottle.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter 4
     
     
    It took Chastity days to recover from not only the roller coaster that the letter left her with, but also the hangover she suffered from. She slept the next two days away in efforts to forget.
                  I never should have opened that darned thing.