Expedition to the Mountains of the Moon (Burton & Swinburne) Read Online Free Page B

his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Swinburne, who suddenly screeched: “What? What? Has the world gone giddy? How can I possibly be guzzling my drinks at this rate? I swear I've barely tasted a drop!”
    Burton frowned down at his assistant. “Algy, please remember that you are Apollo, not Dionysus,” he advised. “Try to regulate your imbibing.”
    “Regulate? Regulate? What in blue blazes are you jabbering about, Richard? Nobody drinks more regularly than me!”
    The poet gazed at his empty glass with an expression of bemusement, then signalled to another waiter. Behind him, Bendyshe and Bradlaugh smothered their chuckles.
    “Anyway,” said Gooch, “when the nippers arrive, the crew will be complete.” He produced a slip of paper from between the pages of his notebook. “I have the complete roster here, sir.”
    Lawless took the note, read it through, and nodded his approval.
    “May I see that, Captain?” Burton asked.
    “Certainly.”
    The king's agent took the list and scrutinised it. He read:
     
    Commanding Officer: Captain Nathaniel Lawless
    First Officer: William Samuel Henson
    Second Officer: Wordsworth Pryce
    Helmsman: Francis H. Wenham
    Assistant Helmsman: Walter D'Aubigny
    Navigator: Cedric Playfair
    Meteorologist: Arthur Bingham
    Chief Engineer: Daniel Gooch
    Engineer: Harold Bloodmann
    Engineer: Charles Henderson
    Engineer: Cyril Goodenough
    Engineer: James Bolling
    Chief Rigger: Gordon Champion
    Rigger: Alexander Priestley
    Rigger: Winford Doe
    Fireman: Walter Gerrard
    Fireman: Peter Etheridge
    Stoker: Thomas Beadle
    Stoker: Gwyn Reece-Jones
    Funnel Scrubber: Ronald Welbergen William Cornish
    Funnel Scrubber: Michael Drake Tobias Threadneedle
    Steward/Surgeon: Doctor Barnaby Quaint
    Assistant Steward/Surgeon: Sister Sadhvi Raghavendra
    Quartermaster: Frederick Butler
    Assistant Quartermaster: Isabella Mayson
    Cabin Boy: Oscar Wilde
     
    “I trust Quips is living up to my recommendation?” Burton asked the captain.
    “Quips?”
    “Young Master Wilde.”
    “Ah. An appropriate nickname—he's a very witty young man. How old is he? Twelve-ish?”
    “He celebrated his ninth birthday a couple of months ago.”
    “Good Lord! That young? And an orphan?”
    “Yes. He lost his entire family to the Irish famine. He stowed away aboard a ship to Liverpool, made his way to London, and has been working there as a paperboy ever since.”
    “Well, I must say, I'm impressed by his industry. There's an unpleasant amount of bureaucracy associated with the captaincy of a rotorship and the youngster picked up the paperwork in a flash and keeps it better organised and up to date than I could ever hope to. Furthermore, I find that whenever I say ‘hop to it,’ he's already hopped. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Oscar Wilde captains his own ship one day.” Lawless ran his fingers over his beard. “Sir Richard, what about these young ladies? Having women serving as crew isn't entirely without precedent, but are you sure it's wise to take the Sister with you on your expedition? Africa is harsh enough on a man, isn't it? And what about all that dashed cannibalism? Won't she be considered too dainty a morsel to resist?”
    “It is indeed a cruel environment, as I know to my cost,” Burton answered. “However, Sister Raghavendra is from India and possesses a natural immunity to many of the ills that assail a European in Africa. Furthermore, her medical skills are exceptional. I wish she'd been with me on my previous excursions. I assure you she'll be well looked after all the way to Kazeh, where she'll remain with our Arabian hosts while the rest of us hike north to the supposed position of the Mountains of the Moon.”
    “And the cannibals?”
    The corners of Burton's mouth twitched slightly. “Those few tribes that feast on human flesh do so in a ritualistic fashion to mark their victory in battle. It's not as common a phenomenon as the storybooks would have you believe. For a daily meal of arm or